flowers

There are so many, many things that I haven’t been able to write about since my computer has been so flaky! Now that it is back, I don’t know where to begin!

So I will begin at the end.

LOL!

TODAY: Dau and hub went on a trip together. They wanted to go on a cruise and I said, go! cuz I don’t want to go on a cruise. I have a lot of fears, and I am totally comfortable NOT going on a cruise. But they couldn’t find a cruise they liked. So, what did they do? They went on a trip that I would have LOVED to go along on. AND I was invited, sort of. But, I didn’t want to hone in on their special trip. Son did NOT want to go and I didn’t feel to make him. Although it is very subtle, there is a lot of hurt due to her being everyone’s favorite. Really. Dau is my fav, sometimes. Hubs fav all the time. Son’s fav most of the time. Son sees it in his dad that dau is the favored one. I see that he treats dau pretty blankety blank special, and if he would only pretend to be as interested in how I feel… that is a whole new story. It really isn’t that bad, but there are days when those feelings get the better of a person. When I was faced with the decision, hub said it would only cost X amt for us ALL to go. Son said No Way. I didn’t want to be a 3rd wheel, so I teetered for a while, but eventually said no. I came right out and asked if they would have more fun wo me and hub wouldn’t say. But I know it to be true. He did say it would not be as easy to coordinate things with a 3rd person. (Secretly I hope they miss me and wish I were there!) So, it is not really hurtful, it is just true. I would be not wanting to do the adventuresome things they do. I would be chicken. I came out and told hub that I felt like maybe son didn’t want to go because it was just being rubbed in his face how dau was the favorite one. Hub was surprised I said this, but honestly, I feel it too! Son is not the only one who feels way down on the list from #1. I used to complain that I wasn’t even on the list. If soemthing even halfway interesting came up, I was left in the dust. I guess I don’t care as much any more, or maybe it is not as true any more. Hard to say. Things do change some.

Anyway, I made the decision to stay home. So here I am. For about 2 weeks before today I was regretting the decision. BUT, lo and behold, Sunday night (I think) dau and I watched a movie. It was great, but after the movie, she got so moody. No matter what I said, it was wrong, or criticized, or questioned. I told hub later that if I said the sky was blue, she would argue the point. Find out later it WAS that time of the month. But, regardless, it reminded me of why I wouldn’t want to be along.

This isn’t even what I wanted to write about, so I will have to change the title!

OR

I can write about what I wanted to…

Last week, dau was babysitting 3 little kids. They didn’t have anything interesting to eat at their house, so dau brought them here. Son happened to be home at the time. I told her she could, and left out a few food items that the kids might like.

Dau was cutting up an apple. She sliced her thumb. OUCH! She said it REALLY hurt. So, she ran it under cold water in the sink. The kids were all interested and wanted to SEE it. So she showed it to them, but she also looked at it! Suddenly, she got dizzy and began to faint. Well, she DID faint. Son thought she was joking around, but said her head just dove for the sink. So, he caught her, the muscle man that he is, and layed her down on the floor, which is the appropriate thing to do when someone has vasovagal syncope. So, the blood returned to her head and she regained consciousness. Slowly. She was out of it for a little while, and then was physically miserable the rest of the day.

About 10 minutes after she “came to” the florist arrived with flowers for dau, from her new guy she is crazy about. Six very beautiful white and pink roses. Huge roses! Needless to say, dau felt better, at least emotionally.

We joked later that if son hadn’t been here, the little kids probably would have called 911, and the ambulance and the florist would have arrived at the same time. I can see the small town headline now, “girl gets flowers and faints” LOL!

That is what I wanted to write about. I thought that was SO cute.

I really enjoyed dau when she didn’t live here. She is very independent, but still not very mature. She has always been mature for her age, and compared to her peers, she is very mature, but as far as being around home, it is for the birds. She is driving me nuts. I have a lot of jobs for her to do, and she is happy to do them, but she is bored. She obsesses about her physical flaws, which are few. She is pretty much over her eating disorder stuff, but still has a few quirky things she eats a lot of, or refuses to eat. I dunno.

She can be SO VERY pleasant, but when she is irritable, I am the fall guy. Really annoying. I point it out sometimes and she apologizes, but I just kind of wish she would move away again and just come visit. I am ready for her to be gone. Most ppl would just shake their head. I hear parents who can’t bear to have their kids gone. They lament that they are so far away! I want to spend time w her when she is far away, and I want her to come home and visit, but all summer? This is getting old. Too much of a good thing… sort of.

We go on walks. We talk. Mostly it is good, but when she gets all complainy about how terrible she has it, I get really annoyed. I put up with it some cuz I am her mom, but I point out to her what advantages she has and how she should count her blessings. Most ppl are insanely jealous of her, and of me for having such a wonderful, beautiful, talented, nice dau. I know it is true, but there are days when I am not very thankful cuz she can also be a pain.

She thinks the grass is greener on the other side, not realizing that it is not. I guess it is all part of growing up. I still have some of that in me, I know. We all have a long ways to go.

enuf for tonite. I am bushed.

faith hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.