Interesting Conversation with the Crazies

Had to write this one down for posterity. Today I was working a few hours in Bradley’s place so he could make a dentist appointment. The duty post was at a pharmacy in Houston.
While walking a customer to her car, a man approached me and introduced himself as Jeremy Vaughn. He said, “You know who I am, everyone does. I’m THE Jeremy Vaughn”
He then proceeded to expound on his views of the American free enterprise system and how it is run by a ruthless conglomerate which actively strives to maintain exclusive membership at all costs.
He related that he had singlehandedly financed and built over 300 buildings in downtown Houston, and the conglomerate refused to pay him, thus his current homeless and penniless situation.
He needed at least $300.00 dollars (from me), and with that seed money, he was going to manufacture a pollution free engine that would solve both the pollution problem and the energy crisis. He couldn’t go to banks for the financing, because the conglomerate had threatened to kill him if he moved forward on this.
Mr. Vaughn then told me that while speaking to me, the “Ancients” had revealed to him that I was a nice guy and hence will be allowed to keep my head after the great purge.
Silly me, I asked, “So, what is the great purge?”
The great purge it seems, is to take place sometime soon. The “Ancients” have invested Mr. Vaughn with ultimate authority, and only those he deems worthy will be allowed to live, and the rest will die by beheading, as that is the only clean way to execute someone. Obviously he’s never seen a beheading.
Those who are deemed worthy must follow all mandates issued by the new ruler, who of course will be Mr. Vaughn, appointed by those good ole “Ancients”.
Being worthy also includes financial contributions to keep the conglomerate unaware until he seizes his rightful place.
The kicker is, only heterosexual Caucasians will be left after this purge, because only heterosexual Caucasians are capable of contributing intellectually and financially to his new society.
Of course, this caused me great concern. Due to that concern, and my marked inability not to be a smart alec, I said, “But my youngest son is bi-racial (he is) and gay (he is not), what will happen to him? Can he keep half his head?”
To which Mr. Vaughn responded by winking at me and said, “I can fix that as long as his hair isn’t kinky.” So, I guess Brian is doomed. And he was such a good son, and a great cook to boot. Alas, what shall I do?
About this time a lady exited the pharmacy, came over to us, and handed Mr. Vaughn a bag of prescription medicine. He held it up to me, winked, and said, “I’ll contact you tonight, go to bed early.”
Unfortunately, I had to come straight to another duty post tonight and was unable to sleep, so I’ve missed his communique. I think his message came across loud and clear, though.
Bless your heart, Mr. Vaughn, I hope the medicines in that bag help.
I know it’s not nice to laugh at mental illness, and I REALLY do hope that this guy is capable of being helped with his problems, but this conversation was just so bizarre I had to share it.