Foot In Mouth Disease? You Judge….

Well, I think I may have already sabotaged my new relationship. Better now than before I got emotionally invested. I’m very much a "take it slow" type person, especially after the last few years, so that was/is a good ways from happening.
Lisa, the gf, was at my house the other night when I got home trying to supervise the boys. They are 19 and 17, with birthdays coming up at the end of summer. I’ll be the first to say that they don’t help around the house as much as I would like. My days off are largely spent picking up their mess, doing their laundry, errands, etc. I get aggravated, but I’ve been a parent for three decades and this is nothing new in the child rearing area. When I came in, it was clear the boys were irritated, but saying nothing. Brad had gotten home from school, and had been gone for three days from home. He is working 12 hours shifts as a volunteer at the Fire department with his older brother and working 32 hours a week in the evenings at a convenience store now. His schedule is full, and he’s keeping up with school, so I am encouraging him as much as possible. He gets a pass on housework other than cleaning up after himself for now. Brian looked like he wanted to murder someone. Before I could get inside the door good, Lisa yelled at them, "I told you to have this done before your Dad got home, what’s the problem?"
No, no, no, no. I yell at my kids. You don’t. Ever. For any reason.
So, I told her that I was going to change, and to come talk to me while I got out of my uniform. Once in my room with the door closed, I told her that I appreciate her trying to help, but not to try to supervise them, that’s my job. She has her home to run, I have mine.
Then, the ultimate wrong response to me. She said, "They need a mother-figure to keep them straight".
This is where the conversation went left. I told her that they had a mother, she is now gone, and we are not interviewing (insert profanity) applicants. I said that I am, and have been for some years, running this home throughout natural disasters, illness, death, and everything else life has thrown out, and I will continue to do it without outside interference. While we may be seeing each other, that doesn’t give her instant access to try to insert herself as an authority figure over my kids. Nor do I want the same with her children, quite the opposite. I have been extremely honest about my lack of desire to raise another family. My job is almost done, and I don’t want to start again with young (5, 8, 10 and 15 years of age) kids. We discussed this when we first starting dating, and she understood this, or said she did.
She was upset, and said that sometimes feelings change, and I should leave myself open. I understand this, but my feelings haven’t changed as yet, and I don’t think they will. We haven’t been seeing each other for even two months yet, so it’s too soon to even contemplate forever with anyone, but she apparently doesn’t feel that way.
So, we’ll see where things go from here, or if they do. I told her that she should think very long and honestly about what she wants from our relationship and make sure it’s in line with what I’ve told her. I do not know yet if I will ever have the desire to remarry, and if I do, it won’t be until the boys are grown and out of the house. I don’t know if I will be willing at any point in the future to raise more children because I have done so for the majority of my life, and it’s time to enjoy the fruits of my labor and see them become happy and productive adults.
As I said, I have been very honest and open from the beginning about all of this, but I feel bad for being so blunt the other night. I don’t necessarily feel that dating someone should lead to the expectation of forever either, and I’ve been equally honest on that score.
I am open to possibilities down the road, but at this moment this is how I feel, and I don’t want to mislead anyone. I don’t want someone wasting their time on me for something that may not happen for a long time if ever, where I’m concerned. If she is looking for a permanent commitment involving vows, it’s best she know early on that she’s investing time in the wrong person for both our sakes. I’m not sure there is a tactful way to tell her that, so I did it plainly. I was wrong for letting myself get angry when she meant no harm, but there are things I will go along with and things I will not.  I am the only parent left, and it will remain that way. As I said, we are not accepting applications for the job position at this time.
So, you guys give me feedback. What do you think?