Chilly Morning, Coffee, and Open Diary…

Being very un-productive this morning so far. I woke early, around four a.m., watched a little television, then got up and made coffee. Gail, my lady friend, came over after work to sleep so we can spend some time this afternoon. I need to go to the grocery store, do some laundry, etc. before I go to work tonight, but right now just being a bit lazy.
Everything is still running on a fairly even keel here. Brad is working a lot of hours, which is good for him even if he doesn’t enjoy it much. Brian is doing well in school. I’m working a lot but feeling amazingly little stress for me. For those of you who have followed along over the last year, you know what a wonderful feeling that is for me.
Haven’t done much Christmas shopping yet, and the day is getting nearer, so I may slip some in this afternoon or tomorrow, but I’m not stressing about it. Brad and I both have to work Christmas day, but I’m going to do Christmas on Christmas Eve. Then a church service that evening before work the next day. I was afraid we wouldn’t have any time for it this year due to work schedules, but it worked out.
I’m glad, as Thanksgiving and my birthday were a bit of a bust around here, and this is likely the last Christmas with both boys at home. I want very badly for it to be a good day, one that they will remember.
The holidays make me very nostalgic each year, thinking of days gone by and family no longer with me. I am ALL about my family and spending as much quality time with them as I can.
After my son Austin died I realized more fully how little time we have with each other in life. You have to work hard to make that time count. I know my kids don’t realize it to the extent I do, but someday they will and I hope they understand why I try so hard to spend time with them now. I have been told that I focus too much on my sons, and it may be true, but it’s what I enjoy in life the most; helping them to become the young men they want to be in whatever way I can. My job will be done soon in that department and it’ll be up to them. Old Dad will be put out to pasture for the most part and I’ll have to focus my energy elsewhere.
On that note, Gail is talking about living together. I don’t want to get married again, it doesn’t feel right at this time. I like her a lot, may even love her a bit, but I just don’t feel like marriage is in the offing at this point. I’ve never lived with a woman out of wedlock other than the two months Cheryl and I did to save money before the wedding. I’m not a prude, but I’m not sure that is for me. I don’t judge others on that decision, I just don’t know if I’m comfortable with it personally.
I told her we would talk more about it in a month or two after I’ve had time to think on it. We’ve only dated for about two months, and I don’t want to rush anything. Although I won’t lie, it is nice having a woman around the house to chat with, wash dishes with, and do all those little things couples do. It’s been a long time since I met anyone I was comfortable around. We will see.
Things are pretty busy, so if I don’t “see” you guys again beforehand, have a very Merry Christmas. Hug your loved ones, and be safe.