Wow!! Has it been a long time since I was here

Well, as i suspected my feelings and opinions have changed a great deal since my first and only entry….I still don’t know if it is for the best or worst yet….

Well that guy, now a few years later, he is a good friend, however i find myself not being able to stand him that much, he is still married, but is trying to pursue me and frankly it pisses me off….The fact that he could be that unfaithful to his wife, what would he do to me if i gave him a chance 5 years from now when he was bored with me…..Not a good situation….  Anyways he is in Afganistan now and supposedly getting a divorce when he comes home in December…..I dont know how to tall him that i am not interested in him at all, he never knew i used to be…..

So for the last year i was dating a guy that when i first met him thought All  my dreams had come true….How wrong could i have been, but i love him dispite the things we have been through, i dont know why…It was a really bad relationship that left me with nothing, car, home, life, job, family…..Well i have managed to get my family back and somewhat of my life in order, i am living with my mother now, i finished my Nursing Assistant program through Harrisburg Community College, now i just am on the waiting list for the state test then i will be officially a Nurse Assistant….I am so happy….Now for the job i am working hard on it….I gave so much up for that guy, i am so happy that i am finally getting my head out of my ass…..

I have a small group of friends, but they are terrific….I am doing what i like to do with my spare time….It is hard i am not going to lie, but i can do it…..Starting from scratch and all……

I finally realized that i have to be happy before i can be happy with someone else, and i am getting there, making myself happy that is.  I have had many guys interested but i need me time and i need to be able to offer something back to the relationship before i can get into one….But really i am sick of men at this point, i am disgusted at the thought of starting a relationship with anyone, mainly becasue i am disgusted with how i have lived my life for the past year and a half….

So that is where i am now in life….