Warrior X.

Maybe I shouldnt have followed after a man who had his own name tattooed to his leg, but I found it reassuring, as if I could look there in case I forgot later on –

Jerry. I wanted him to tattoo the word Sailor in front of it, that was my creative input –

Its not even a year later, and now he s in prison and I m in therapy, and I doubt its doing either of us any good.

We ate well, even if the mussels were gritty and I broke up the kingfish by stirring the pot too often – and he looked after me when I was sick and painted my ceiling for me after we banished the black mould –

But he did threaten to burn down my place, that last time I broke up with him, the last of many last times, and he did threaten to send a naked video of me to my brother, and he did stalk me across the city, I m not imagining that or making it up, even if he first recorded a Not Guilty plea. So I had to report him. I let it go on for too long, trying to deal with it my way. I dont want to ruin the mans life. When he was good he was very very good. But when he was bad he was horrid. I just need him to acknowledge that he cant treat women that way. Whatever about what happens to me, I can handle it, I m no newbie to the trauma game, I just dont want it to happen to anyone else –

This wasnt even the worst relationship I ve been in. Thats a sobering thought. But I ll keep drinking and push it aside.