Different *edit*

Everyone says they are different… or strange… just… different from everybody else. You, me… they… everybody… the general answer people get to the statement "I am just different" is: "Everybody is different". Everybody is different…. someone people just accept that statement without saying anything… others say or think: "No, but I am REALLY different…"

I… am one of THOSE people….

Why am I different? Or even strange… well… I don’t like people. Well… actually I don’t really mind them. Just… the majority of them just plainly bore me. My interest just seem so different… or maybe I do not even have real interests myself. Maybe I just get bored of the constant bla bla of people. They think they have something important to say… but mostly they just state the obvious or ask obvious questions… it bores me. Do you really want to know what my tattoo means? Ok… now I told you… now… now what? Ah you’re just trying to make conversation??? You bore me fool… move along…

Am I arrogant? Yes… I probably am. But I just have a very low tollerance for bullshit and statements of obvious fact…

I like people who are a little bit "off centre" if you will…. people who just don’t follow the same auld path everybody else does… people who are not sheep…

Ok.. so does being bored of people really make me so different? I cannot say that. But all I know is that most people are much more social than me. They are in relationships or love to go out. Be it to pubs or restaurants or just hang out with friends. I am rather alone. I find it a lot of hassle to actually get up and go to town to meet somebody. Even if I really like the person… it’s hassle… I hate it. I prefer to sit on the couch, watch a movie… and if it’s a guy: have sex. I love sex. And don’t get me wrong I don’t have one-night-stands… but if I am with a guy and he’s my boyfriend… most of the time I would rather screw his brains out than go out to a fancy restaurant…

So I am not social… which is very odd cos I am a Trainer in work. I am surrounded by people most of the time. Maybe that is why I avoid people in my private life… because I am being forced to be social at work. Which I am really not.

Generally I have one special person in my life… at the moment I do not even have that. I am about to break up with the guy I am with. For several reason but that shall be discussed another time.

I would like to work alone… totally alone… well… hang on… I’d like the internet… and instant messanger… I communicate so much better in writing than in person… maybe I am just a geek… a geek with a great ass and boobs… who knows…

I like computer games. And I could play them all night and day. I would love to win the lotto and never ever have to work again. I would play games, study and travel the world for the rest of my life…

I believe in faries… leprechauns… trolls…. if they wouldn’t exist why would there be so many stories about them? Think about it 🙂 Also interested in Quantum Physics… Quantum Psychology… and so on…

I am an only child… I think that’s why I cannot share… I need a lot of time on my own… I am also rather quiet… probably because I was being told off if my mum would hear me listen to music in my room or anything… sometimes I felt like I had to pretend I don’t exist… I also ate my dinner alone in my room. not because I had to… but I hate hearing people make noise when they eat… like slurping or smacking… it’s disgusting and makes me feel sick…

I am a great dancer.. I love dancing… esp. to Reggae and rock music…

I believe in God… not in the usual way though I don’t think… but nothing will ever get between me and God… or my belief in him/her/it…

I was in love once… and it was with a girl… I AM a girl…

I think I loved one more time… his name was Fatih… he didn’t treat me very well… I am messed up… I still think of him and miss him sometimes…

I just feel… different….. I am always alone.. but I am hardly ever lonely… I would like to help people… heal them… make them see the world like I see it… they wouldn’t harm each other anymore… they’d be better and kinder to each other…

But at the same time I don’t care about people half of the time.

I am confusing… confused…. confunded… I am… different.

When people hear or read this they always think I am some arrogant princess who thinks she’s better than everybody else… I don’t think so at all. I don’t think I am better than anyone. On the contray actually. I just don’t fit in with most people. I met some amazing people in my life and I care (or cared) about them a lot. All I mean to say is that I generally do not fit in.. mainly because I don’t like to spend time with the majority of people and rather spend it alone or with one of the special people I met along my path… I not better than anybody else… just… different.