Dad weight…
Well.. so I’ve been to back Germany and.. well… everyone asked me how it was and … well… not sure how to answer that question… it was… so so I guess.
The weather wasn’t great, the Christening was lovely though, althought I cried during the church ceremonies a lot (i’ll explain later), my dad wasn’t well…. and…well… that obviously threw a spanner in the works.
Well so I arrived in the arrivals hall at the airport and my mum and dad (why is it always mum and dad and not dad and mum?!?!?!) were meant to pick me up but instead my mum showed up with my cousin. So I was in a great mood at that point and cheerfully and jokingly asked if my dad stood me up and my mum really seriously said: "He’s not well…. not well at all" and you can imagine the SHOCK and my good mood being blown away…
So on the way back in the car we hardly talked and when I arrived home I gathered all my curage and strength and hugged my dad and talked to him really cheerful and that. To not let him see how I feel and all.
Basically my dad is a bit depressed. He can’t find a "real" job anymore and I think he’s a bit hurt in his "male pride". Know what I mean? Different generation and that… it must be hard…. and also he was shaking a LOT. Like his hands didn’t stop shaking really badly. That’s why he didn’t want to drive.
Well he went to the doctor’s on the tuesday and she said that it’s due to the meds he was put on. So now I rang them last saturday and he was already much better now that he had stopped the drugs. Thank God for that!!!! It really gave me a fright and for the first time in my life I was thinking that maybe I should go back to Germany… to be closer to them you know?!
Anyway… other news… hmm… haven’t heard A WORD from Ferd since I am back and he ignored a text message of mine again so at this stage i think : screw him. i don’t need this.
But I am still doing the "positive thinking" bit although it’s a bit harder at the moment. But I am still doing it.
Yesterday when I weight myself I was the lightes I’ve been for … dunno… since I am 24 years old or so… I was down to 54.5kg… that’s about 119 pounds or 8.5 stone for my US and UK readers. What is weird thought that i have a fatter tummy and fatter legs than when I did when I was younger and were at that weight… well I guess it’s a matter of the body putting on different "fat reserves" now.
Now don’t get me wrong I don’t think I am fat. Of course not!!!! I just need to start working out my tummy, tighs and butt to make them more firm again. But I am pleased with that. 55 Kg is great by me 🙂