An Entry About Nothing.

I’m at my parents’ house for the weekend. I’m terribly bored. My great-aunt is visiting, so we had a good time last night listening to her and my grandmother (her sister) tell stories about their childhood, and then the rest of my family from that side came over in the afternoon today. We made margaritas and fruity-vodka-blender-drinks. I’m very, very drunk right now. I have nothing to do tonight, because I didn’t tell the boy whom I usually see when I’m here that I was, well, here. I think I’m done with him, but he doesn’t know that yet. I don’t want to hurt him. He’s been my friend for years. I don’t know how to have this conversation. So instead of having that conversation, I spent the evening online, filling out surveys that I stole from Almost a Sarah.

So drunk. Uggggh. Make it stop.

Food Survey:

1. What’s the last thing you ate?
This blueberry-pecan crumble thing that I made for dessert with my family. It was really good, and deceptively easy. My family thinks that I’m this awesome cook — nu-uh! I just pick the easy recipes!

2. What’s your favourite favorite cheese?
Cheeeeeeeese! God, I love cheese. I’ve been into blues lately, and I’m a very big fan of stilton layered with double gloucester. It’s perfect on crackers. I’ve also been experimenting with different hard cheeses, ones that I can use grated on top of things like people do with parmesan. There’s this gourmet cheese shop near my house, and I just can’t stay away from it.

3. What’s your favorite fish?
Salmon and tuna. I’m boring when it comes to fish. And when I say “tuna,” i mean real tuna steaks, not just the stuff in the can.

4. What’s your favorite fruit?
Strawberries, peaches, or green grapes. I’ve recently discovered kumquats. They’re SO cool.

5. When, if ever, did you start liking olives?
I’ve never liked olives. I’ve tried, but I can’t. Eeeeewwww.

6. When, if ever, did you start liking beer?
A couple years ago? I don’t know. I remember being 18 and drinking beer because all my friends were having it and I hated it, and I remember drinking way too much of it in college because it’s all there was. I think maybe within the past two years or so, I’ve started to like it enough to actually want to drink it.

7. When, if ever, did you start liking shellfish?
I’ve never had them, and never wanted to have them. Shellfish ain’t kosher.

8. What was the best thing your mom/dad/guardian used to make?
I don’t know if anything my mother makes could be considered gourmet . . . I think that I just like it because I grew up with it. She does make very good chili, though. Meatballs, too. Oh, and she makes killer omelettes.

9. What’s the native specialty of your hometown?
I’m from Jersey. We don’t have culture here.

10. What’s your comfort food?
Leftover grilled chicken breasts, cold on wonderbread with mayo. It’s so gross, and I love it.

11. What’s your favorite type of chocolate?
I’ve always preferred dark chocolate, but I’ve recently discovered the wonder that is GOOD milk chocolate. It’s smooth and creamy and MMMMM.

12. How do you take your coffee?
From several feet away. I don’t like coffee.

13. How do you take your tea?
Slightly cooled, with sugar or honey. Or as chai. Ooh, how I love chai.

14. What’s your favorite mug?
I was given this mug when I was like, six, that I still use to this day. It’s got this scary-ass girl on the front who looks like her head is on backwards, but she’s really just wearing a bonnet. It’s horrifying. I love it.

15. What’s your ideal breakfast?
I don’t do much for breakfast. I’ll pick at leftovers sometimes, or have a glass of milk.

16. What’s your ideal sandwich?
Hmm, I don’t think I have a favourite sandwich. I certainly like sandwiches enough, but I don’t know if I have an affinity for any one in particular.

17. What’s your ideal pizza?
I really do like plain pizza, with a thin crispy crust and lots of gooey cheese. If I have to have toppings, I like onions and hot peppers, but if my pizza is topped then I want a thicker, doughier crust.

18. What food do you always like to have in the fridge?
Cheese, lemons, broccoli, eggs, pickles, and onions.

19. What food do you always like to have in the freezer?
Individual chicken breasts (I freeze each one in it’s own baggie since I live alone,) and assorted cold sweet treats. I don’t usually keep too much stuff frozen.

20. What food do you always like to have in the cupboard?
Cans of tomato sauce, chicken and veggie stock, pasta and rice, and tinned peaches.

21. Where do you buy most of your food?
From the crap-ass grocery store near my house. Sometimes I’ll go to the really nice grocery store near my house, but it’s super-expensive.

22. What meats have you eaten besides cow, pig and poultry?
Well for one, I’ve never eaten pig. Again, it’s not kosher. I’ve eaten lamb, but I think that’s it.

23. What’s the thing you ate that you picked in the wild?
I don’t think I’ve ever picked anything wild.

24. Arrange the following in order of preference: Italian, Mexican, Chinese, Indian, Thai, Sushi:
Chinese, Mexican, Italian, Indian, Thai, Sushi. I don’t object to the fish in sushi, but I just don’t like it. And yes, I’ve tried it.

25. Arrange the following in order of preference: Vodka, Whiskey, Brandy, Rum:
Vodka, Whiskey, Rum, Brandy. They’re forgetting the one that goes at the top of the list: TEQUILA.

26. What’s your fast food restaurant of choice, and what do you usually order?
I like Wendy’s. I usually get the spicy chicken sandwich or a baked potato with broccoli and cheese.

27. What’s the next thing you’ll eat?
Uh, probably leftovers in the middle of the night. I only do that when I’m at my parents’ house though, because I don’t keep leftovers in my house.

28. What’s your favorite drink?
Drink, or DRINK? My favourite alcoholic drinks are margaritas, anything mixed with vodka, and red wine (I’m partial to Syrahs and Cabernets.) Non alcoholic, I drink only water or diet coke.

29. What’s your favorite ice cream flavor?
My favourite generic ice-cream flavour is mint chocolate chip. My favourite of all the ice-cream flavours in the world though, is oatmeal cookie chunk from Ben & Jerry’s. OMG.

30. What’s your favorite potato chip flavour?
I’m not a chip person, really. I tried dill pickle flavoured chips recently, and those were cool. I liked the ketchup flavoured ones too. I don’t crave chips ever, so when I have them, I like to experiment.

31. What food do you hate?
Mushrooms, bananas, and anything that’s MUSHY. I like food with texture, thank you.

1. Would you rather freeze or burn? As in, to death? If so, then I’d rather freeze because I think you stop feeling the cold long before you stop feeling the heat. If we’re just talking about regular weather conditions, then I’d rather be hot.

2. You’ve just finished your ice pop and you’re throwing the wrapper in the bin when you find a picture of you cut up into pieces. What do you do? Figure out who the hell has been in my apartment, and where he got a picture of me from. Because I don’t have any available for cutting.

3. A man comes up to you and says, okay, I’m gonna kill you now. You get to choose how. How would you die? I fear that if I answered this with any depth, I’d reveal way too much. I was a depressed child; I fantisized about death more than I ever should have. And yes, I do have an answer. I’m just not sharing it.

4. You go back in time to any year that you haven’t lived before. What year? Sometime in the ’20s. I always wanted to be a flapper.

5. You’re at a private school about two decades ago, and you’re about to be beaten because you did something naughty. Would you want six with the trousers on or four with the trousers off? Firstly, I think that this should be far longer ago than two decades. Secondly, I don’t think that any private school would ever have allowed me to wear trousers. Semantics aside, fewer swats would be preferable.

6. If you’d just killed someone, where would you hide their body? Thinking of an acceptable answer to this question is a big part of what keeps me from ever committing any murders.

7. Would you rather be the ruler in hell or a slave in heaven? Ruler in hell. I’ll just have people bring me ice.

8. You’ve just died, and you’re given the choice of reincarnation, being a spirit or going to heaven/hell, wherever you belong. You don’t find out whether you’re going to heaven/hell until you’ve picked, and you don’t get to choose what you’re reincarnated into. what would you be? I’d choose to be reincarnated. Hopefully I’d become somebody with fewer neuroses.

9. You’re stuck on a desert island. You take three things with you. What are they? They can’t be anything used to escape the island, you’re trapped there FOREVER. A big fluffy blanket, a giant library of books, and a boy.

10. Would you rather be stuck in a dull job but getting loads and loads of money or in a super duper dream job but getting hardly any money? The super-duper-dream job. I can get by just fine without money, so long as I’m happy.

11. If you found out the world was gonna end in seven days what would you do? Everyone says that they’ll have sex, so let me amend this: I’ll have sex without protection. I’ll also . . . have sex, and have sex. Anything else I can think of that I want to do before I die is either unimportant when you consider the end of the world, or too involved to be able to complete in just a week. So I’ll just stay naked, thanks.

12. You find out there is life on Mars. Do you go? Depends on what they’re like. Do they play backgammon?

13. You’re one of those super duper scientists and you find signals from some ickle aliens. They say, come to Neptune. It’s not that cold, would you go there? If I were a scientist, then yeah, because I imagine that a scientist would want to do such things. I’m an artist, we don’t care about other life-forms, so no, I wouldn’t want to be the pioneer to Neptune.

14. A little green monster thing asks you for a hug, would you hug it? Sure, unless it’s a known fact that little green monster things kill you with their hugs.

15. You’re in prison. Would you think about trying to escape and running away? It depends on how long the sentence is for, and how badly they treat me.

16. Your life sucks. Would you consider running away and joining the circus? Yeah. I’m considering doing that now. Well, no, not really, because I don’t know how to do anything circusy, but I’ve considered running away and becoming an elf.

17. There’s a pencil floating in the air. What’s the first thing you think of? That somewhere, there is a very pissed off accountant.

18. They’ve decided to cancel all TV programmes apart from one, and they ask you which one they should keep. What do you choose? Lost. Because I want to know what the hell is in that damned hatch, and it would be just like them to cancel all of television before I find out.

19. They’ve decided to take away all food apart from one meal and you get to decide, which meal would you pick? Chicken caesar salad. Yummy!

20. You’re stuck on a desert island. Five people can go with you. Who are they? can’t I just go by myself? With the aforemention boy, that is.

21. You have to meet one TV star. Who is it? Rachel Bilson. And I will seduce her, and she will be mine.

22. You win a screen kiss with which ever TV star you want. Who is it? Rachel Bilson. And I will seduce her, and she will be mine.

23. Would you ever commit suicide and in what situation? I’ve spent enough of my life thinking about and considering suicide to know that it’s just not worth it. So no, I wouldn’t.

24. You have to kill someone. You have to pick how you do it and what you do about it. This is easy: President Bush, in Lincoln’s Bedroom, with the pillows. <– Yeah, I'm stealing this answer.

25. Would you kill someone who killed a member of your family or a friend? No. I wouldn’t.

26. What is the most frequent dream you’ve had, or a subject of a dream, like being chased or something? I very rarely remember my dreams, to be honest.

27. You’re getting married! where’s your honeymoon? Backpacking through Europe, sleeping in hostels and getting by on no money, travelling from city to city by train with no agenda whatsoever. God, that sounds wonderful.

28. If your family were really poor and you had no food or money, would you consider prostitution? If there were no other options, then yes, but I can’t imagine getting to a point where there are no other options.

– Past –

1. when were you born: 12 April, 1982

2. where were you born: Livingston, NJ

3. what was your first grade teacher’s name: Morah Nechama and Mrs. Wacks. I went to yeshiva, so we had two teachers.

4. what was your first pets name and what was it: I’ve never had a pet. *sniff*

5. what was your worst accident (medical): Uh, I broke my finger when I was 10? Broke out in hives when I was 19? I’m not sure I’ve had a really bad medical-type issue.

6. what was your favorite cartoon: Gotta go with the classics – Loony Tunes.

7. who was your first best friend: Jamie M., from when we met on our first day of nursery school at age 3 until we were 13 and she got all popular on me.

8. when was the first time you ever went on a plane: When I was nine, and we went to Disney World for a week.

9. who was your first boyfriend: I had some fake boyfriends for a while, but I never kissed them. The first boyfriend I kissed was Adam H., when I was 14.

10. what was your favorite song when you were in the 5th grade: Oh god, I never listened to music back then. I would sit in front of the radio with a pen and paper and take notes so that I could participate in the conversations at school.

11. what was your favorite movie in the 2nd grade: In second grade? Cripes, I can’t remember that.

12. what did you want to be when you grew up: I wanted to be something new every day, until I learned that people could actually be actors for real. Since that day, I’ve not wanted to be anything but.

13. what used to be your favorite color: Purple. Now it’s pink. I’ve gotten more girly as the years have gone by.

14. what was your favorite subject: Math. It was the only class where I ever learned anything new.

15. did you ever wet your pants at school: In first grade. Oh god, I can’t believe I’m admitting to this. I was smart, so they sent me ahead a couple of grades for some subjects. It was my first day as a first grader in the third grade classroom, and I was too afraid to ask for the pass, so I peed in my chair. Then I stopped at the water fountain on the way back to my real classroom, splashed myself with water, and told the teacher that I got soaked.

16. did you ever get sent to the principal: Once. My teacher was always telling us to stay in proper lines and not cut, so one time in second grade when I was standing in line to ask a question during a test, she called this other girl to come ahead of me, and I threw a fit. That was the first time I ever called a teacher out for being a hypocrite, and I never stopped doing it all through college.

17. did you ever steal anything: A few things, when I was younger. I know better now, though.

18. what was your worst fear: Rejection. Still is.

19. what was your favorite toy: Books! I loved books. There had to be a rule in my house, no reading at the dinner table.

20. did you ever suck your thumb: No, but I’ve always bitten my nails.

– Present –

21. what time is it: 8:55PM

22. what’s the date: 30 July, 2005.

22. what grade are you in: Erm, none?

23. who is/are your best friend(s): Meh, I don’t do the “best friend” thing.

24. what is your favorite movie: Center Stage! Shut UP.

25. what is your favorite song: I don’t know that I have just ONE favourite song.

26. do you have any pets: Nope. But I have a little brother.

27. if so what are their names: N/A

28. what is your favorite subject in school: None. Somebody needs to tell the people who write these things that we’re not all in high-school.

29. what color of hair do you have: It’s brown, but I’m growing out some red that faded to blonde. It’s natural down to my ears.

30. what color of eyes do you have: Green. They were blue when I was born, and they stayed blue for twenty years. Then the turned grey, and I recently realized that they’re green. I’m a chameleon, that is what I am.

33. what is your favorite t.v. show: The Amazing Race. I SO want to be on that show.

34. do you go online often: All the time.

35. what’s your worst fear: Being attacked by houseplants. Well, no, not really, but that does sound pretty scary, doesn’t it?

36. what’s your favorite color: Pink and black. I’m such a girl.

37. what state do you live in: Pennsylvania.

38. do you have a b/f g/f: Technically, no. I’m crazy for someone, but he’s not my boyfriend. For now at least, that’s a good thing. I think.

39. what’s your favorite type of food: Cheeeese.

40. do you drive: I have a license, but not a car.

– Future –

41. what do you want to be when you grow up: I am grown up. I want to be an actor. I am an actor.

42. do you want to go to college: I went to college. I don’t want to go back.

43. do you want to get married: If it feels right, then yes. I’m not going to go marry somebody just for the sake of being married.

44. if so at what age…if not why: It’s not that I’m itching to get married, but I want so badly to have that kind of relationship with somebody, and I want it now. Is that so wrong?

45. do you want to have kids: A year ago, I would have said absolutely not. Even six months ago I would have been weird on the idea. But now, I want to have children more and more with every passing day. I watched one of those stupid birthing shows on TLC last month and started crying and sobbing, “I want a baaaabbbbyyyyyyyyyy.”

46. if you don’t drive what kind of car do you want: I loved my old Saturn so much. I want another one.

47. at what age do you think you’ll live to be: I have no idea. I can’t picture myself ever being old. Is that morbid?

48. where do you want to live when you’re 25? If I’m still in Philadelphia in two years, I will kill myself.

49. what movie do you want to see next saturday night: I don’t particularly want to see a movie next Saturday night at all.

50. are you happy? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

51. what time do you think you will go to bed when you’re 70 (if you plan to live that long): If I’m that old, I hope to be either retired or rich enough that I can be nocturnal like I’ve always wanted to be.

52. do you think you will have the same friends as you do now: I’m pretty sure that I won’t.

53. do you think everyone will be jealous of you at your 10th high school reunion: Let’s see, that leaves me with five years to become wildly successful. I think I can do that.

54. do you want to be president of the US: Oh god, no.

55. Do you want to walk on the moon: No. I’ve walked on rocks before.

56. do you want to be famous: Not famous as such, but successful as a stage actor.

57. what kind of housing do you want to live in: As long as it’s in an area I like with people I like, then I don’t care what the actual abode is.

58. What color do you think your hair will be when you’re 50: Brown. My grandmother didn’t go grey until 60, and my mother is 51 and only has a couple of greys, so I think I’ve got the good genes in this respect.

59. Do you think you will still have the same personality when you’re 60: I certainly hope that I have better coping skills and fewer emotional breakdowns, but I hope that I don’t lose my sarcastic nature. I love my sarcastic nature.

60. Do you think the sun is going to explode: In a few million years, sure, but I’ll be dead by then.

Did you read this far? If you read this far, I’ll love you forever. And also, get a life.