A Glimpse of the Future.

The outcome of this election hasn’t quite struck me yet. That is to say, I’ve yet to truly accept it. I certainly don’t expect some mystery information to come out of nowhere and reverse the decision or anything like that, but I am finding it hard to believe that after months of fuss, it’s all finally over and nothing’s changed. My optimism was misguided, most likely due to my residence in a hugely, devoutly, loudly Democratic city. I do admit that I was a little naive in assuming that there were pockets of supporters in unlikely places across the country who were as eager for a regime change as we were here in good old Philadelphia. The facts hit me in the face last night like a three-day-old trout, and I hate it when that happens.

Trouts smell.

I’ve seen some articles proposing that without anything to prove, Bush’s second term will be more centrist, more palatable to the liberal mind. I find this hard to believe. If anything, I worry that his policies will become more extreme, more violent, and more damaging, because after all, he doesn’t have to worry about re-election anymore.

Unless, of course, my worst fear comes true. I can just see it happening in 2008: Georgie will claim that since he wasn’t really elected to the presidency in 2000, but rather appointed to the position by the Supreme Court, that he is eligible to run for a third term. And since he’ll have systematically poisoned the Supreme Court Justices and replaced them with androids, they’ll agree. When that happens I’ll be thirty by the time Bush is out of power, but it’ll be too late for me because I’ll be in federal prison for having had committed the heinous crime of homosexuality, and then while in prison, forced to deliver the babies of the guards who raped me because Jesus would have never gotten an abortion, all while my family begs on the street for coins that nobody has, thanks in part to the 82% unemployment rate, and also to the drive to devote all scrap metal into fighting the war on Italy. Why Italy? Well, after Iraq, Ireland and Israel, it was next on the list. Can you think of a better way to conquer the world? Because George can’t. Watch out, Jamaica. You’re next.

Dirty Rastafarians.

Let me make this one thing clear: I don’t give a rat’s ass about war, or terrorism, or supporting our troops, except in the sense of how it affects things over here. I want a president who will pay some fucking attention to what’s going on inside the actual borders of this country. I know that I’m never going to find a candidate with a legitimate chance at winning who will use my tax money properly and find a way to solve the disgusting and ridiculous problems within this country’s citizenry, but at the very least I was hoping to find somebody who will do whatever the fuck a president is supposed to do with the Blowing Up Of Large Things but leave my personal rights alone and my morality up to me.

Clearly, that was too much to ask for.

The cries of Bush’s supporters during this campaign are beginning to haunt me in my sleep:

Four more years! Four more years! Four more years!

Oh, god.