Hardening my Heart

Its funny how people like to use othrs when they need them and to push things away.

"I love you because you respect me treat me like a queen and are honest with me."  Two weeks ago or so.  Tonnight?  "I have a boyfriend."  You have got to be fucking kidding me.

Or used just because the boyfriend isn’t around.

I fucking hate my life right now.  Seriousy wanting to crawl into a fucking hole and die.  Well ya know, there are easier ways with all my medical issues to make the end approach sooner than people may think.  The ablity to end it all is seriously close at hand, if I choose.

That would be the easy way I guess.  I just have to harden my heart.  Not letting people in is the best way to avoid being hurt I guess.  Perhaps I am just destined tobe single for the rest of my life.

It is hard.  People can not be allowed to see the pain that exists inside.  All must be happy and cheerful on the outside. 

FUCK!