I try to speak in moderation

Today I woke up, and did some stuff, then wrote this entry, and soon I’m going to bed.

I’m in California now, which is where my parents live now. I grew up here, but we all moved to Michigan about ten years ago. That’s where I went to high school. Then college in Texas, and now grad school in Rhode Island. Well, now now, break in California (and soon, break in Texas). How is being at my parents’? Tolerable, I suppose, considering. No fights or anything, which is good. I feel challenged, sometimes, though, and have to tread carefully. I mentioned Nietzsche, and they tried to steer the conversation to religion. I managed to avoid going there.

My family makes me weak. I’m pretty good at standing up for what I believe in, most of the time, but the glaring exception is when I’m with my parents. I’m afraid to even admit that I’m an athiest here, even though I’m pretty sure my parents have figured that out by now. I don’t know if I would even say my mind if they started talking politics and lauding W. They’re big supporters, you know. I’d probably just keep my mouth shut. My parents are exactly the sort of scary evangelical conservatives that I am terrified of with respect to the future of this country. That thought is so WEIRD whenever I think it. They don’t SEEM that dangerous…

This fact always disappoints me about myself. The one point I really feel like I’m failing, though, is food. I gradually became a vegetarian at the beginning of this past fall semester, and I stopped eating meat altogether sometime around mid-September. The reason I’m a vegetarian is because I think that supporting the meat industry in America is morally wrong, because the factory farming system is unduly cruel to animals, but quite a lot. But rather than have the fight with my family about it, and endure the snide comments, and the rolled eyes, and the other things which I really ought to be strong enough to take, I eat what my mother puts in front of me. Whenever given the choice, I opt for the non-morally repugnant meal, but I’m not always given the choice. I feel… not quite so strong as ashamed, I think, but disappointed in myself. Weak, like I said before. A better person would do better.

Fortunately, I’m not one of those people who think that vegetarianism is off or on, like black or white. I’ve always (since I started to understand these things) thought that eating factory-farmed meat was bad, and the more, the worse. Conversely, the less, the good. So it’s not like I’ve relapsed or anything like that. I’m sinning, but I’m not making a habit of it. I feel bad about it every bite. I’ll behave more uprightly when I go to Houston next month.

Other news: my brother is sort of a jerk, but I pretty much already knew that. He doesn’t mean that much by it, I think. Whatever. I ignore, or at least try.

We went to see Finding Neverland this afternoon. What a truly amazing movie. It’s about beauty and kindness and love (the not-sex kind) and sadness and death and life and handling the world. I cried three times, and absolutely loved it. Best movie I’ve seen in a really long time. Possibly, ever. Go see it. (Also, bonus for connections to the Savoy and the G&S world.)

God, what a great movie.

I guess that’s all I have to say for now. Answers to questions are still forthcoming, I promise.

Oh, no, I remember one more thing I was going to say. So I went to junior high in this area, and then went to high school in Michigan. Apparently, my mom is friends with this woman who was a substitute teacher, and remembers me. And her daughter was one of my classmates, and also remembers me. And apparently, the two moms are trying to sort of set us up. Ok, whatever, it’d at least be a chance to get out of the house, etc. I agreed, a few weeks ago, to meet this girl. (I don’t remember her even a little.)

Well, I get in yesterday, and there’s a picture of her. Gorgeous blonde, green eyes, delightful smile. I showed Emily a picture of the picture.

tigeremme: holy good lord.
Jolly Utter: *laugh*
tigeremme: why do these girls always find their way into your life, dude? =P
Jolly Utter: I have no idea.
Jolly Utter: I love the way you respond to them, though.
Jolly Utter: =P
tigeremme: *laughs*
tigeremme: well, they’re all so gorgeous
tigeremme: it’s like you’re a magnet
Muppet Horde: hah. Well, if I am, it’s not the good kind, where it gets to actually be with the iron, or the hot blondes, or silver churn, or whatever.
tigeremme: *snorts*
Muppet Horde: Anyway. Yeah, all I know about her is that she’s hot, and that she went to junior high with me, and that her mom and my mom are friends.
Muppet Horde: Odds are good she’s in a Christian conservative family… but then, so am I.
Muppet Horde: Oh yeah, also: she lives in California. =P

I left her a voicemail message; I’m told that she was expecting my call. Maybe we’ll meeet up sometime soon. I can think of worse ways to spend a couple of hours. Anyway, it’s late now, and I’m tired of writing. Goodnight.