I do it on compulsion!

Sunil made me do it.

There are a few sort of surprising things that may be learned herein.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY: Jonathan; John, even though I never, ever introduce myself or think of myself as such, and always answer “Jonathan” when people ask, “do you prefer Jonathan or John?”, but I answer to “John” anyway, when it’s clear I’m being addressed with that name; Ichi, although very few people call me that these days.

THREE SCREENNAMES YOU HAVE HAD: Jolly Utter; Muppet Horde; Evil Eye of Doom.

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF: I become horrible when I don’t eat enough, or recently enough; I experience back pain; I have a moderately bad work ethic.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE: Japanese; Swedish; sump’n else, prolly.

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU: Cars; injuries; dogs.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS: Food; coffee; internet.

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW: A Steve Young jersey; boxer-briefs; a smug smile of self-satisfaction.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS: Robin Hood’s Merry Men; the Buxton pit; this really long rubber one I can shoot across the office.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS AT PRESENT: “Henceforth all the crimes”; “I’ve jive and joke”; “Free from his fetters grim”.

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS: Submit a paper for publication; audition for something that would pay me to sing; have sex with an audience.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (LOVE IS A GIVEN): Intelligent discourse; broadening of horizons; fun.

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE: I almost got a tattoo last week; I don’t like the idea of being in love; I’m curious about homosexuality.

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX THAT APPEAL TO YOU: Shape of the body (muscles, bones, etc.) as felt through skin; smile; smoothness, in any of the many pleasant ways it can be found in the female body.

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN’T DO: Sing a high A; whistle; stop caring.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES: Gilbert & Sullivan performance; watching NFL football; Buffy.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REAL BADLY RIGHT NOW: Sleep; flirt; play Monopoly.

THREE CAREERS YOU ARE CONSIDERING: Philosopher (the only one I’m seriously considering); layout editor (one I could definitely fall back on if I wanted to); singer/actor (one I fantasize about).

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION: New Zealand; London; Oregon.

THREE KIDS NAMES: What, just three names? That’s stupid. Names aren’t age-specific. *shrug* Abigail; Abraham; Adalaide.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE: Play Jack Point; Perform opposite John Gremillion; have sex with a soprano while she’s singing.

THREE PEOPLE WHO HAVE TO TAKE THIS QUIZ NOW OR DIE PAINFULLY: I’m claiming consciencious objector status with regards to answering this question.