College Slums

Backtrack to December. I am staying at my grandma’s, talking to my family about my living situation.

I mention that I don’t feel safe in my house- my roommate is a drug dealer and just robbed someone who supposedly took money from him, he’s also an alcoholic and tried to beat his friend to death when blacked out one night. Not to mention, the neighbors have been robbed before and have raging parties all the time and wont let me stay in on weekend nights.

We agreed a move should do me some good. I failed a class and needed to get my grades up. I would be away from the distractions and have a quiet roommate who didn’t party.

Move forward a couple of months. The first guy  I get along with who gives me the time of day, I attach myself to. Although my instincts tell me I should back off, I continue to immerse myself in his company and develop deeper feelings. He tells me he doesn’t want a girlfriend, and I convince myself I’m okay with being friends with benefits. I know it can only end with heartbreak, but I’m happy and I haven’t felt that way in a while.

The spring semester ends with me bombing my classes (due to a very messed up sleep schedule and an addiction to Ryan) and the realization that he really isn’t going to be my boyfriend despite the seat he’s found on the pedestal in my mind.

Meanwhile, my roommate has yet to pay me for any of the electric bills I’ve received, and some guy she had staying in her room racked up a 250 dollar bill for ordering porn on our cable boxes. I also ran out of money from trying to cover these bills, and quit my short-lived job at a sandwich shop due to only getting scheduled shitty hours. I lost my financial aid from the grades I received, so I was going to rely on private loans for summer classes and living expenses.

Ryan was letting me bum some money off him too since I was letting him stay during his 6-week summer class.

Our classes finished (I got a B+ and B- !!!!) and Ryan moved. The loans I’ve applied for so far have been denied because my school wont certify them. I was still pretty hurt about the Ryan thing, especially because he started talking to his ex non-stop.

I honestly was thinking to myself, if anything else manages to go wrong I wont be able to handle it, I’m going to go insane.

My dad was in Indiana for the weekend so I visited with him. He made me feel better about a lot of things, but my anxiety was super high. I knew I would come back to school with no boy to distract me, no financial support, and with a lot of things I had to take care of by myself. Sunday during the drive home I was mentally preparing to take another class and get into a new routine. I had plans to sell weed to make money, to camwhore online, and to beg the sandwich shop for my job back.

Then I walked into my apartment and everything was gone.  I got fucking robbed.

They took my computer, my laptop, a number of other semi-valuable electronics, and even my bed.

I immediately called Ryan and started screaming. Did he leave my door unlocked? Did he take my stuff? What happened?!

Apparently my door was left unlocked for a few hours on Friday, but my bedroom door was locked. For some reason they took my roommate’s TV, the rugs, and some hanging mirrors from the living room, but didn’t break into her bedroom. However, they took everything of value from my room. They took so much that I can’t even stay at my apartment for the duration of the lease, and if I could I wouldn’t because I’m kind of scared. Either my roommate is a dumbass and somehow managed to not suspect that robbery was the reason her stuff was missing all weekend (she was in and out a few times but never texted me about it) or she had something to do with some of the missing stuff and didn’t want me to know.

I called the cops over immediately and they didn’t do shit. They told me to look on Craigslist and check in local pawnshops for my stuff and to call them if I found it. I also want to go around my apartment complex and ask people if they saw anything, but that makes me really nervous for some reason.

I’m staying at a friends for now. There is still a lot of stuff I need to do. I’m going to make a list to make myself feel more productive

-Find a student loan to cover the classes I just finished (I have an appointment with the student advocates office tomorrow and I’m hoping they can direct me a little)
-Fill out a transfer application (I want to move in with my grandma in the fall and go to another school)
-See my counselor (appointment tomorrow)
-Turn off my electricity
-Talk to neighbors to see if they saw anything
-Renew my ID card so I can do more loan applications and find a job when I move (waiting for my documents to get mailed from my mom)
-Decide where to move for summer (I have plenty of options, but I want to be close to friends and don’t want to offend my family)
-Fix my air conditioning in my car, I bought the stuff, I just gotta figure out where to put it in my car…

So, that is plenty to keep me busy while the school tells me if I can get financial aid in the fall.

In all honesty, getting robbed seemed to be good for me. It made me realizing that the Ryan thing is stupid and not worth worrying over. I also don’t feel as alone as I thought I would when I came back to school. I’m more aware of the support my family and friends are willing to provide me with in a time of crisis. Also, without a computer, I’m not caving out in my room avoiding my problems.

And it’s made me realize that all the things I loved about this university are now the things I hate. I was in awe at the sheer amount of people I got to interact with on a day-to-day basis. I thought it was awesome that I could talk to people from all walks of life and learn more about people as a whole. Now I cringe at the idea of having to talk to a business student or a rich kid whos parents pay for them to be here. If I hang out with kids who are more like me, I’m in the slums. The over crowded areas where students live in cheap housing and rob each other and do nothing but down substances.

I’m overdue for a change.