06/23/2009

One day she’s perfectly fine, and the next, almost dead. I thought my emotional roller-coasters  regarding my mothers health were pretty much over by this point, but oh no. Sunday morning she was fine, then a few hours later she was throwing up from pain. Of course Roger, my step dad, and I didn’t know that. She told us it was a virus. It wasn’t until 8p.m. when the pain was smeared across her face that we realized what was really going on. 
We rushed her to the hospital for her kidney pain. On the way she threw up once more, and then a few more times when she got there as well. My mother went into shock. She was shaking so violently that it took me and two nurses to hold her down, while another put in the IV. She was doing okay once they got the morphine in her system, so I sent Roger home to get some rest. I stayed through the night with her in the ER. Literally out of no where, her blood pressure dropped from 130/70 to 64/30. The terror on the nurses face extended to mine and tears started over flowing. It seemed that everyone in that ER knew my mom was about to die if something wasn’t done fast. The cop on duty came over and gave me a hug, then took me to the break room to get me some coffee. The charge nurse, and the nurse handling my mom took me aside and told me to move her out of NTMC as soon as she was stable. I took that to heart. When you have two nurses, who have been in the field for 30 plus years, telling you to get your mother away from the idiotic doctors of this city, you do it. Unfortunately doctors don’t listen to 19 year old girls, Roger has no back bone, and my grandmother is just as stubborn as my mother.  24 hours of no sleep rolls around, she’s been moved to ICU, had a central line put in, and now has 12 IV bags of different things running into her, and I have run out of time. Roger is back up there, now that it’s become serious, and I have to leave to pick up Faith, the little girl I watch. I walked into the house, and straight into the arms of Faiths mother. I couldn’t hold myself together. 
She wasn’t stable on Monday either. Or Tuesday. Roger, my grandmother, and myself, watched the screen in anticipation of her crashing. We were expecting it. Finally her blood pressure came up into the 90’s, but ask soon as it did, she threw up blood. Then all hell broke loose. Of course not in the way your thinking. Were the doctors concerned? Nope. Not one bit. Was I? Yea.. I was. Barely a month ago we were in there for her being anemic and having to have 4 pints of blood. Now we are in there for a kidney infection that took over her body, and she’s throwing blood up? Then, I walk into her room and they are giving her TWO MORE pints of blood, and they are still telling me it’s not a big deal. Furry took over me, and those doctors were done lying to me. Thank the Lord, my mother is fine. She’s been sent home, and the blood issue is being checked out by different doctors. 
I almost lost my mother for the fourth time in my life. 
You’d think it’d get easier.
But it doesn’t.

I hope everyone is doing well.