Don’t disregard the fire in you tummy, let it burn bright.

I arranged a phone call appointment with a doctor today.
I had to get help.
the words came out shaky and I felt my body disconnect from my mind and everything around me faded leaving just me in a echoing room with nothing but the truth.
the doctor didn’t ask questions, it was down to me to start this conversation and give information and I just couldn’t get the words out. I stuttered and felt my body heating up. My breathing was letting me down and I just blurted it out “I need help”

I have undiagnosed mental illness and although I have an idea of what they are, I’m not a doctor. I have diagnosed illness as well, and the doctor agreed that perhaps I were right and we need to dip deeper. He warned me it wouldn’t be easy. For the first time in months my mind wasn’t blowing up thinking of everything and anything. It felt a little clearer and I felt as though a plan was in place. Some days it feels like I’m always on this new journey that will just take me out in a heartbeat because I’m weak and I’m scared. I’m always scared.
but being scared doesn’t mean I can’t try, what have I got to loose?
I will get there, it doesn’t matter if I run or crawl I will get there. I really shouldn’t underestimate myself, I know deep down that fire will never go out.