I see you.
I hate when I’m reading comments online and people victim shame. If you’ve never been sexually abused you can’t even imagine how hard it is to come to terms with your truth. I have to look at my cousin during family parties, and even sometimes at his parents house(he lives there), sometimes my aunt needs me or I’m dragged there by another family member and I have to look at this person who violated me, and listen to the sound of his voice. It makes my skin crawl. It makes me want to throw up. Growing up and even as an adult we were close. I never brought it up. During the day I didn’t even think about it. But at night, it would hit me like a ton of bricks. Sometimes, id dream about him coming into my room, to hurt me. Even now, some family members know, and some don’t. It’s a deep dark secret. So I understand why people don’t speak their truth. The truth can hurt so many people. One day I’m going to scream it from the fckin rooftop.
I’ve said the same thing i’m going to tell everyone… But then i’m like its going to cause so many more problems. The man who abused me was my grandfather he’s dead now. But why can’t i open up and tell my family. It’s something i deal with everyday but I feel as tho i will hold it with me until i die…..
@derick I’m sorry that you had to go through that. I have a constant battle with myself as well. I know if I open my mouth, to EVERYONE. It’s going to be so much bigger. Some people know, and I basically told them because I’m really close to them. I was like I’m just telling you guys because you have young kids, just be aware. Don’t leave him alone with them. You know.. that’s all I can do..
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Do it! My “father” abused me and I was vilified for daring to say he did it. It’s one of those things that is uncomfortable for those closest to it and often they will strike out at the victim to try and maintain their whitewashed “reality”.
@snarkle I’m sorry that happened to you. One day I’ll have half of your strength and scream it from the top of my lungs. One day…
@itgoeswithoutsaying I’ve been in therapy for over 30 years. I’ve been put down and sneered at by my siblings. My mother flew at me when I tried to tell her. You are stronger than you know. You’ll be fine.
@snarkle wow. That’s terrible. I’ve been in therapy too. It definitely help but now I don’t have insurance so I can’t go anymore. I do have supportive people around me, but, my family is so dysfunctional. My main thing is not hurting my grandma, I don’t even feel like my mom would believe me. When I say stuff that I remember from my childhood she says that it didn’t happen. Smh.
@itgoeswithoutsaying can’t you get medicaid?
@snarkle I make too much for Medicaid. They were charging me 200 and change for insurance, and then plan fckin sucked. It was basically like having no insurance. Smh. I would still have to come out of pocket for so much. It wasn’t worth it.
@itgoeswithoutsaying damn!
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