Wrong Side of the BedE

Have you ever woken up mad? I mean, have you ever gone to bed peacefully, only to wake up totally pissed off, ready to throw your entire life—or marriage—away just to get the first good punch in at the world—or husband? What the fruck is up with that? I don’t think most people get this… I think most people wake up groggy or happy… maybe some wake up unhappy to be awake… but does anyone else wake up absolutely pissed off beyond all reason, for no reason?

I’m going to try to get past this… try to have a good day anyway (try not to use this as an excuse to eat badly, try not to use this as an excuse to not get exercise, try not to throw first punch—or second blender, try not to make endless sarcastic comments) but as the morning progresses, I’m finding it difficult. I’m hoping this entry will help. Perhaps in getting it down, in pouring the vile anger from my mind through my finger tips, into this Word document and onto my diary, I’ll be able to escape it and enjoy the rest of my day. That is the Hope. And Hope is the word.

I got some notes about my vitamins. Yes, I spend a crap load in vitamins. $125 a month to be precise. I know… shit load. But my health is important (and we’re looking for ways to cut costs) and because I’m such an incredibly picky eater, I don’t get a lot of my vitamins. Add to that my weight problems, the depression, the bi-polar, and the countless little things like weak ankles and joint pains, and you can quickly see why having the proper balance of vitamins—and having all of the necessary ones—is vital. Now, I’m the first to agree, $125 is stupid. But I’m stupid when it comes to vitamins. And we’ve been “busy” with other things (like teeth, Thanksgiving dramas, and Christmas)… and I just started taking Vitamins in December. So, Grant prompted the GNC trip… he knows about vitamins. He’s had issues his whole life—and been forced to take crap his whole life. He knows about this kind of stuff. He says this stuff at GNC is apples for apples with the $125 stuff. Okay dokie. I’ll grin and take them the same as I grin and take the ones I’m taking now. As long as I feel better on them than I do off of them, Woohoo, I consider it a ‘Win.’

Well, I have to go… Virginia Beach and all that fun stuff. I do feel a tad less pissy. Although the thought of eating healthy makes me want to gag. Where is a good double cheese burger when you need it??

I may get back to late tonight to write. Hope not, but it could happen. If so, you can bet your ass there’ll be pictures tomorrow. Look forward to it. 😛

CIAO!

*** EDIT***

For S:

May your family get through this difficult time with peace, may you find the strength and courage to lean on each other, to love him and forgive him for his choice, may God grant you grace in your time of mourning. My prayers are with you.