NoJoMo – 19 11 Hour Day… feels just as long…

I worked 11 straight hours today.
I didn’t even take a break for lunch.
My longest break consisted of 3 minutes when I got up to do a few stretches and another when I went into the bathroom for 4 or 5 minutes to cry (I just needed to release).
I have so very little left in me. And there are some things I want to talk about—have wanted to share for a while—but feel I can’t talk about here for fear it might be read by a specific person.
I’m trying to leave the past in the past, but it seems intent on pressing down on me, strangling the life out of me, breaking my heart at the most inopportune moments.
In any case… at work, things were alright. I spent most of the day working on the law suit, so I stayed late to work on some actual bookkeeping. I couldn’t make up some of the stuff I have to deal with. I am so tempted to post excerpts, with the names blanked out. For instance:
Z told Y on numerous occasions that her husband had a small penis. Z complained to Y that Z and Z’s husband rarely had sex and that she hadn’t given him a blow job for his birthday because of a marital dispute. Z followed Y around the house while Y—the housekeeper—tried to clean and complained about needing more money and paid holidays. Z told Y she need more money because Z wanted to continue to compete in ‘modeling’ competitions and her husband would only continue to pay for them if Z continued to perform sexual favors for him.
I was hired as a bookkeeper.
Seriously. I’ve been typing this type of crap for two days. I’ve been dealing with this smut… which is much less disgusting that the accusations thrown at my boss. I’ve known my boss for four months. No way has he done the things she’s accusing. No way. I’d bet my cat’s life on it. My boss is a narcissist who cares about one thing: money. Maybe two, if you count his wife… but judging by the state of his marriage… one thing. She said he did all kinds of things. Ugh.
I was hired as a bookkeeper.
 
I can do this.
I can do this.
I can do this.
That is my mantra. I repeat that to myself.
 
 
 
 
 
I picked up Arby’s on the way home. I tried to eat well today… but it just is really hard when you’re working this much.
Grant and I had dinner and talked about our day, and we’re now listening/watching American Justice.
No real time for the crying. Oh well.
We’ll be going to bed right after this. Early. Thank God.
I need the sleep.
I need the rest from life.
I would look forward to the weekend, but there’s only more to do… and then next week there is Thanksgiving and on and on… good grief.
 
I definitely need the rest.
I definitely need time to cry.
I definitely need to write the entry I’ve been putting off, even if I have to make it private.
But right now, I definitely need to go get under my electric blanket, because I’m freezing my Southern ass off. You Northerners are frucking insane!