I have no more Wisdom Teeth…

I had all four wisdom teeth out Tuesday morning at 8:30 am. Talk about some scary ass shit. I spend most of the night before in incredible pain – since they told me they would be sedating me, I couldn’t have anything for twelve hours before the surgery. Fun. So, I did that… I took my morning pills dry. Nothing better. I spent the whole night, in extreme pain, worried I wouldn’t wake up in the morning and that my mom would have to come out and go through my stuff with Grant in a dirty house. Grant promised to get the house cleaned first if I died, but that did little to ease my worry. I was terrified. I hate going under sedation, but with my anxiety—no other option.
So, Tuesday morning, Grant and I stumble out of bed and head for the out patient clienit. It’s cute and very clean looking. There’s no paper work to fill out and within ten minutes the sweetest nurse you can image has me on the laughing gas.  This is going to be cake, I think. Then, some other nurse with bleach blonde hair attached to her fake-n-bake botoxed face comes in with some midevil device and asks me to open my mouth.
I do.
She repeats, in a harder tone, as if I can’t hear her through the gas, open your mouth.
I’ve been on gas for 30 second, so I tell her, I have an infection in my jaw, this is as wide as I can. It may have come out a little differently. I remember WANTING to say, “Look, bitch, this is as wide as I CAN open it. I’m in fucking pain. How else can I help you?” … I seriously doubt I said that though. Seriously.
I open my mouth again, as far as I can. She sighs dramtically—although by this time it could be the gas affecting my justment—and shoves the device in sideways, turns it the right way—which hurt enough—and then cranks it open.
 I am not ashamed to admit it. I screamed. At least 10 seconds. Screamed, moaned, and whined. The other nurse—the nice one—came running over to sooth me. I looked at her like a nurtured puppy… why have you forsaken me??? Why???? OOOOOOOhhhh!!!
I don’t remember much of the procedure. I remember the sedation wearing off a few times. I remember them drilling and breaking a tooth. I remember feeling pain (the phantom pain they said I’d feel if I wasn’t sedated) and I cried out… then the sedation came back. That’s pretty much it.
I spend yesterday with most of my mouth numb. Two hour per meal minimum. Still can’t open my mouth more than 1” wide. If that continues I’ll ask about it at my follow up on Tuesday. Seriously… I used to be freak in the bed… and you can’t do that with 1” of width.
 
Today, I feel like I have a hang over – still 1” of width. I don’t feel too much pain, unless I move or think or breath. If I just sit still, I’m good. I should be back to some sort of normal in a few days. Not nearly as bad as I thought it would be. Now if I can avoid dry socket—thank God I finally stopped smoking because that stupid habit increases your chances INSANELY—and infection—for which I have antibiotics… Woohoo.
 
I plan to go into work in an hour or so. I think I’m going to work a half day today, bring some work home for Thursday, and work most of the day Friday. By Monday, I should be 100%…
 
 
And God… fair warning… you’ll need every angel in your army to protect you if I get the flu that’s going around Grant’s office. I am so completely NOT kidding.