And now, off to study…

I went to the gym early this morning. Man, I hate waiting up early. I seriously hate it. But I went, and we did a lot of core training. I doubt I’ll be able to walk tomorrow.
I’ve spent most of the day avoiding studying, but I plan to get right on that after this entry.
 
I got a couple loads of laundry done, and Mom’s gift wrapped. Not much for today, but hell… it’s almost over so, I can sleep soon.
 
 
 
I started reading a new book: The Sociopath Next Door. I am so amazed at how accurately this book describes Leila. It’s just freaky.
 
 
The Sociopath Next Door:
According to Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders IV, sociopaths have at least three of the following seven characteristics:
(1) failure to conform to social norms
(2) deceitfulness; manipulativeness
(3) impulsivity; failure to plan ahead
(4) irritability; aggressiveness
(5) reckless disregard for the safety of self and others
(6) consistent irresponsibility
(7) lack of remorse after having hurt, mistreated, or stolen for another person
{Leila has the ones in bold. }
 
“Sociopathy stands alone as a “disease” that causes no dis-ease for the person who has it, no subjective discomfort. Sociopaths are often quite satisfied with themselves and with their lives, and perhaps for this very reason there is no effective “treatment.” Typically, sociopaths enter therapy only when they have been court-referred, or when there is some secondary gain to be had from being a patient. Wanting to get better is seldom the true issue.”
 
 
So, wow. I mean, I knew all along, on an intellectual level, that there was no helping her. I knew she would always be this way, but I still… I had hope. I guess, now, I just don’t have that hope. And I’m tired of the relationship we’ve had.
 
And I am tired of thinking about her. My goal now is to avoid sociopaths in the future… because I cannot go through this again. That’s the primary reason I’m reading this book.
 
 
 
 
 
 

 
 
I need to go switch over the laundry. And then I should get started on this stupid studying.
 
 
SONG OF THE DAY:
SPEED
 

I’m tired of spinning my wheels
I need to find a place where my heart can go to heal
I need to get there pretty quick
Hey mister what you got out on that lot you can sell me in a pinch

Maybe one of them souped up muscle cars
The kind that makes you think you’re stronger than you are
Color don’t matter no I don’t need leather seats
All that really concerns me is

Speed
How fast will it go
Can it get me
Over her quickly
Zero to sixty
Can it outrun her memory
Yeah, what I really need
Is an open road
And a whole lot of speed

I’d like to trade in this old truck
Cause it makes me think of her and that just slows me up
See, it’s the first place we made love where we used to sit and talk
On the tailgate all night long but now she’s gone
And I need to move on
So give me

Speed
How fast will it go
Can it get me
Over her quickly
Zero to sixty
Can it outrun her memory
Yeah, what I really need
Is an open road
And a whole lot of speed

Throw me them keys so I can put some miles between us
Tear off that rearview mirror there’s nothing left to see here
Let me lean on that gas
Oh she catches up fast
So give me

Speed
How fast will it go
Can it get me
Over her quickly
Zero to sixty
Can it outrun her memory
Yeah, what I really need
Is an open road
And a whole lot of speed

That’s what I need
I’m tired of spinning my wheels
I’m tired of spinning my wheels