8…**E**

I’ve tried to stay busy most of the day. I got all the dishes done and most of my laundry washed.
 
Kat is here tonight. I met her a few months ago in our CIS class. We’re studying for the tax exam together. The comprehensive tax final is tomorrow night, so this time tomorrow night, I will be one semester closer to graduation.
 
I’m still so drained…emotionally. When I tried to take a nap today, all I could think about was Grant coming home… it’s just so hard. I’m just trying to get through the minutes, get through the hours, get through the days… I’m counting down. 5 minutes til 10. 1 hour til bed. 8 days til Grant comes home.
  

**Edit**

Grant didn’t call tonight. He said he would when I talked to him last night, but he hasn’t… and in this weird state of constant worry and frustration, all I can think about is the worst case scenario. What if he died? What if they bombed the base and the news isn’t reporting it yet? What if he’s dead and the last conversation I had with him was bland and lifeless? What if we spent the last few months we had together arguing and fighting about bullshit? What if all this waiting has been pointless? What if it isn’t 8 more days… what if it’s much, much longer?

If he isn’t dead, I am going to be so pissed at him for not calling me. I am so worried right now, I can’t begin to try to think about anything else, much less finish studying for my exam. What is he doing that he can’t call me? Is there another stupid blackout?? How long will I have to wait this time? Days? I don’t think I could take it… and if it’s not a blackout, if it’s just some stupid co-worker who fucked up, or if he just didn’t get up or something… or, heaven forbid, if he forgot… I’m just going to lose it. We’re talking postal worker over here!

I just keep looking at the phone… I just want it to ring (or vibrate, as it were). Is that really so much to ask?? 11 months without a husband… can’t I just know that my husband is safe and alive and still coming home to me????

… thank goodness Kat is here…

**End edit***

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