Cabaret

Brent’s step-mother Jodi is, in my mind, the main force for destruction in Brent’s life, however, for her own two children, the two she birthed herself, she has been nothing but supportive, old-fashioned and naive in parts but supportive, and don’t they shine for it, both of them have a scholarship to a painfully expensive private school and are top of their years, one sister is dating the top boy from sydney boys grammar, I met him yesterday, he came across as desperately average, but apparently not, he is king of his kind, I talked to Brent about it and he suggested to me that in fact he was so skilled, so talented, that he puts on that face in a strangers company to test them, I don’t know, maybe he just has an impeccable memory and nothing else, that’s not uncommon, that is what most university students have, no intuition, nothing new to contribute, but my lord they can remember the pictures on the page of the textbook where it talked about sophistry. If you had to pick, memory or intuition, which one would you pick? Assuming you had a choice.

The father is escaping Jodi, he has been talking about doing so for years now, but this time it is the implication of work, of duty that he is escaping into. He is one of the best people you’ll be likely to meet, 30 years in the army, no aggression or pretence, doesn’t lecture, he’s just enthusiastic and skilled, very endearing. I love Brent’s family, barring Jodi of course, and a few outliers whom I think would be better off shot, it’s sort of twosided situation for him, he lost his mother when he was 4, and he got that neurotic, possessed, hateful scum as a step-mother, but he had an extended family that was better than anyone else’s I’ve ever met, he would’ve been such a happy child had his mother lived, totally different person, Brent’s capability is beyond measure, I mean that, but he’s emotional difficulties leave him desperate in the face of any conflict amongst the few he’ll allow himself to care for, Stephen, Terri, me, that’s it, outside of family members we’re the only ones whom he’ll listen to seriously, and I’m not one to tell a person what to do, Terri did more damage than good in the end, she was a very practical girl whom had specific ideas of what she wanted from him, the relationship and the future and when things weren’t delivered on her time-table she decided it’d be best to find another path for herself, nothing like the devoted love of a wife to get you through the hard times, she stayed around for as long as she could stand… does it show that I’ve got limited sympathy for her and, if it wouldn’t crush Brent, there are things I’d wish upon her that you wouldn’t call fortunate?

Stephen, whom I trust above all others as being the one closest to possessing impeccable knowledge of how things are and will be, really it’s freakish this isn’t hyperbole he is an aphorist in the purest sense, he’d be considered to have the lord’s providence had he been born in another period of history, was wrong on this one thing, I know it’s childish but we had discussed it a few times over the years, I actually took some comfort in that fact that Stephen was so confident she wouldn’t leave him, that she loved him… Isn’t it peculiar when you’re the right one but it’s to no one’s benefit, not yours, not anyone you care about?

Anyway, too much thought. I’m leaving for QLD tomorrow probably, might leave tonight, I’ll see, I’m preparing music right now, the trip up will be solo, I know it’s borderline antisocial when I say something like this but I’m happy for it, I like a long road, new music and time, it’s like meditation for me, I come out of it euphoric. Brent and Stephen have a bed for me and even Kieran has promised me a sofa bed, but that means putting up with Simon, it might be entertaining for a day, to hear his utterly misguided take on the world. Regardless of Simon it’ll be good, I’ll enjoy it.

I’ve got a fairly simple explanation for Simon.

Imagine you had an enormous depth of knowledge, you valued learning and you took it seriously, you learned the basics at school but went on to do independent study on subjects that interested you, you didn’t sleep much, you filled your hours observing, reading, learning, discussing and lecturing. Imagine your ability to extrapolate was very advanced, imagine you were valued amongst your friends as being the one who was the most persuasive, whom had the most interesting things to say, they would listen to you attentively when you began discussing and lecturing on the things you’ve learned and the things you’ve extrapolated.

Now, most importantly, imagine that your basic perception of things was badly biased.

It doesn’t matter how much knowledge one has, how convincing or talented they are, if their initial perception of the matter was that the thing they saw was blue, and it was actually red, no amount of justification, extrapolation or theorisation can change the fact that their basic perception was faulty, and therefore everything they’ve extrapolated and concluded is as well.

That’s Simon.