Ten Years Later

So much has changed in the last ten years, I hardly know where to start. I’m not even sure if I want to continue this diary. I’m a different person than when I started.

I originally began this diary to overcome the mental block I had in applying to the Dominican order. I had a lot of crap in my past to work through. The diary did help me in doing that work.

My little brother’s meds stopped working, and after a disturbing year of getting increasingly unstable, he hanged himself a few years ago. He lingered for a few days before we turned off the life support. I prayed for him constantly during that time.

That tragedy taught me that life is short. It goaded me to get off my butt and do something. I’ve been a lay Dominican for the last couple years.

I have made peace with the fact that I am probably not called to priesthood or religious life. I am working with students at the local Newman Center, which I find very fulfilling. I run a Bible study, and mentor a number of students one-on-one.

A couple years ago, in an unusual confluence of events, I ended up sponsoring five people for Confirmation: Three Newman students and two high school students. I still have strong relationships with most of them, especially one of the high school students, who I’ll call Travis.

I’ve known him and his family since he was six years old or so. He and I made a pact years ago to pray for each other, but sponsoring him truly made us friends.

He’s a thinker. He loves learning about our faith, and enjoys philosophy too. After he was confirmed, he asked me if we could continue meeting weekly, which I found very flattering.

Usually we meet at a coffee shop on campus, and he told me a few weeks ago that he hopes there’s a copy of it in a little corner of Heaven! Recently I’ve started tutoring him in calculus too.

I honestly don’t know if I will continue with this diary. I’m in a very different place now.