+Feast of Mercy

I had intended to write an entry about the Easter Triduum, but I hardly even know where to start!  It was even more mind-blowing than usual, because of course Keith and Dan got baptized, and I was in the thick of it.

One beautiful thing worth mentioning:  The three of us had met on Holy Saturday to talk and pray, preparing them a little more for the incredible evening to come.  The weather was awful;  rain and hail were shooting around almost horizontally.  We talked a while at a coffee shop, then adjourned in separate cars to the church.

As I’m walking toward the church, Dan and Keith yell, "Isaiah, get over here now!"  They’re in the courtyard staring at the church.  I run over there and see what they see:  A beautiful rainbow, arcing through the sky and ending right at the door of the church!

We just stood there, stunned and admiring, as it gradually faded.  And then the sun started to come out in earnest, and the weather improved drastically.   Our Easter fire burned brightly without being threatened.

I also received a huge word on Holy Thursday night during Adoration that tied together a lot of things the Lord has hinted at with me over the last year or two.  A lot of food for thought and prayer in that one!

But the main thrust of this entry is what happened yesterday between me and Mark on the Feast of Mercy.

It’s astonishing how close we’ve gotten to each other in such a short time.  It’s only been a month!  Yet I don’t think I could possibly love Mark more if he were my own blood.  Still – when you’ve laughed together and cried together and prayed together in each other’s arms, how much closer can you really get?

Anyway, it came out a week or so ago that we share a common struggle against sexual temptation, and we’ve pledged to pray for and with each other and support each other through this.  Earlier this week, Mark yielded to temptation and was so overcome with guilt and shame that his self-hatred issues bubbled back up to the surface, and he felt like he’d completely abandoned the Lord.  Worse yet, he conceived a (prideful, he now realizes) desire to ‘get through it on his own’ and so didn’t let me help him.

Well.  He was agonizing over this with me at our regular Sunday meeting, and God MOVED!  I’ve never gotten an extended spoken word for anyone before (usually it comes to me in writing);  it happened several times that afternoon.  I just held onto him with all my might and told him the truth about God’s love and my love until he finally got it.  (He needed to hear several times that I love him for who he is right now.)  We prayed together for a couple hours, and eventually he moved into a transport of joy.

This was a deeper realization of God’s love than the one he had a few weeks ago.  That time he got his feet wet in love;  now I’m pretty sure he was well and truly drenched.  He was able to acknowledge the gifts and good qualities God has given him without a trace of nervousness or hedging;  and he was able to look me in the eye and tell me that he loved me in return.  (Something he couldn’t do before, he said, because he secretly believed he had nothing worthwhile to offer.)

Shortly after that, the parish’s annual Divine Mercy celebration (with Exposition and Benediction) started, and I persuaded him to stay for it.  The change in him was pronounced;  he was focussed on the prayer, not jittery, and his posture was excellent rather than tight and slouched.  After an initial touch of nervousness, he didn’t even take notice of the fact his parents were there also.  (He has some issues around them and church-stuff.)

I sent him an email today offering to take him out to dinner again, but he replied asking if we could do it tomorrow.  Even twenty-four hours afterward, he’s still too overwhelmed by the experience to want to add anything to it just yet!

I am SO happy for him!!  My own heart was nearly bursting, and I hardly got any sleep that night for sheer excitement.  I can only imagine what it was like for him!

Thank you for the gift of Mark in my own life, Beloved, as well as Keith and Dan.  You know well how my teaching Mark about you has caused me to truly learn some truths that hadn’t really sunk in for me yet.  Thank you for making use of me in his life.  And thank you for the love between us.  May it always reflect your love and spread out to the world around us.

Truly you have given us a great day of rejoicing, a day of great mercy!