Why is it so Hard?

Why does it have to be so hard to tell your family you don’t want kids? I haven’t wanted kids since I was a kid myself. My entire family knows this but always said “You’ll change your mind” to me when I told them that. I was quite offended when I went back to Oklahoma to visit for the first time after having been married for 6 months and my family had been expecting me to announce that I was pregnant. EXCUSE ME?? I nearly wanted to leave when I found that out. They still ask every time I see them if we’ve decided we want kids yet.

My husbands entire family keeps dropping hints about us having kids too.

When you say that you actually don’t want kids to anyone they’ll smugly say something like “You’ll change your mind” or their jaw drops in disbelief.

I don’t have a problem with people who have kids but I personally don’t want any and neither does my husband. It was actually a big relief to find out he didn’t want kids before we ever talked about getting married. Every other guy I’d ever dated expected kids someday.

Having Sara (our golden retriever) around has pushed hubby and I to even consider permanently removing one/or both of our abilities to reproduce. They often say to get a puppy if you’ve considered having children. After having her I know there’s no way we could deal with children. Sara has a lot of needs, more than a cat but not as many as a child and these needs are hard for us to meet sometimes because all we want is to spend time with ourselves in quiet solitude. We sit down to enjoy a quiet computer game and there it is, Sara barking to be let outside. At least Sara will be considered an adult within the year. A child would rely heavily on us for many years.

I personally believe it’s my AS that makes me not want kids. Having something rely on me is extremely tiring for me. Having something screaming next to my ear would drive me nuts. Our puppy has pushed me to the point of screaming and crying on several occasions, it is only because of my husbands patience that we still even have her. I cannot deal with anything more than a cat on my own. Cats are simple, you put food in their bowls, clean their litter box, toss some toys around and they’re happy. I require A LOT of solitude in order to not wear down real fast. On days I have to work that’s the only work I do, I don’t cook or clean or do anything at home. I come home and I wind down and enjoy my solitude. It is only with a day or two off that I am able to get anything done. Usually by Sunday I’m ready to do cleaning. I’m not very efficient but I only have myself and my hubby to look after and hubby does a damn good job of looking after himself, we both look after the puppy but hubby honestly does the majority of the work with her.

There’s nothing wrong with a married couple not wanting to have kids. You don’t HAVE to reproduce. If you want kids go for it but it’s not something you HAVE to do. What I don’t like is being treated like I’m some kind of freak for not wanting kids. Being treated like I don’t know anything and being told that I’ll change my mind because I won’t and I’m sick of hearing it. As a matter of fact I’d put everything I own on me never wanting kids. I would honestly write out a contract today that said if I ever decided I wanted to have kids I’ll give the other person on the contract every fucking thing I own, leaving myself destitute and homeless. I’d even include a lie detector test in the contract so I couldn’t lie about not wanting kids just to keep my stuff. 🙂