*sigh*

I hate my job, I really, really, hate my job.

Marlene, the person even more bitchy than Michele called me this morning. She’s so unpredictable. She can play nice but if she’s angry she turns into this evil creature. It’s like a jeckel and hyde thing. She called this morning and sounded pissed off and wanted to meet at 10:30. Fine, I was free so I said she was welcome to come down. When she showed up she was all smiles and happy and just had a couple changes for me that were no big deal.

We sat down at my desk, and here’s one good thing about my desk. The pictures I have up of my cats and Sara will warm even those coldest of hearts. She started asking questions about the cats and the dog and all that stuff and then went on to business. No big deal, meeting was over in ten minutes, she thanked me and went on her way.

I’ve had so many bad experiences with her though that my heart was racing, my hands and legs were shaking and I had the hardest time even talking casually about my pets. This is the thing I hate about my job. There are so many people here that are just angry all the time and want everything done yesterday and get upset at the tiniest little thing. I can’t deal with those kinds of personalities and thats how a lot of the company gets, they’re all jeckels and hyde’s it’s literally frightening for someone like me. You never know if they’re going to be all smiles or if they’re going to chew your head off and spit it out on your bosses desk. My fear of Marlene has gotten so bad that after I hung up the phone with her at first, when she sounded angry and wanted to meet it took every ounce of energy I had in me not to burst into tears. She has stressed me out so badly in the past. Most people seem to be able to shrug her off, no one likes her, but they all accept her bitchiness and move on. That’s something I’m not good at. I have a really hard time not taking it personally and not beating myself up over everything.

I feel so fucking pathetic and weak sometimes.