Positive AS

I feel like all I ever do is complain about having Asperger’s Syndrome when I chose to write about it.

Would you be surprised if I told you that I wouldn’t take a pill to cure my AS if I was offered one?

Despite all the struggles I go through on a daily basis I wouldn’t cure it if I could. Why? Because I see Asperger’s as a beautiful thing, a blessing in disguise.

AS is not what causes me to have trouble functioning in the world. The problem is that ninety some odd percent of the population is neurotypical, that is why it is called “neurotypical” afterall, am I right? The problem is that I am a minority. If I were surrounded by people with AS I would fit in. My husband shares some of my traits. I don’t know if he has AS necessarily but he most definitely exhibits some of the AS traits I find necessary in someone I have to live with. He’s intelligent and creative and he needs peace and quiet as much as I do. He’s not the most social person in the world either. We work together, flawlessly, although things can get bumpy when we’re both out at the store or something and neither of us feel like being out. We understand each other though. We can tell when the other is in social-overload mode. We know when it’s time to be quiet. We have awesome brain-sex, y’know those conversations about nothing and everything that last well into the night. 🙂 I don’t think there’s another person in this world I could live with.

My family has always been supportive and perhaps slightly awed by my differences. I was an extremely easy child to care for. I did as I was told, I asked permission and I rarely tested my limits. As a result I was trusted, respected, and loved. My grandmother often reminds me of how the only time she ever had to raise her voice at me was to get me to eat something after my oral surgery. I hadn’t eaten in a couple days, too much pain.

I did well in school until high school. I never teased other children. I couldn’t understand why other kids teased me. I didn’t understand concepts like tearing someone down to make yourself feel better.

I’m not saying I was perfect but I was pretty damned innocent. I didn’t start doing things I shouldn’t have until I was influenced by other kids. It never occurred to me to wrap my vegetables in a napkin and toss them away saying I ate them. It never occurred to me that I could be deceitful in any way. People with AS are known for their blantant honesty.

I’ve always been extremely creative. There is nothing in this world that I consider impossible. With the right attitude anything in this world can be accomplished. My dad will tell stories of things I’ve done in my life that I shouldn’t have thought of or shouldn’t have been able to do on my own. I believe anything is possible. He always loved watching me figure things out. I’d hear him whispering to his friends who’d try to help me, he’d say “No, leave her alone, watch, she’ll figure out a way to do it herself”. I smiled inside when I heard those words. I look at the world from a different angle. I see beauty, wonder, and enless possibilities around every corner.

So I don’t have any friends, so I’m not really social, so loud noises hurt my ears. So what! I have gifts. I am a musician, I am unusually creative. I love those I love with all the love I can muster. I’m trustworthy and honest. I am true, and kind. I am unique and different. Yes, in this world I’m labelled “disordered”. But you know what, I don’t really care because regardless of how people look at me. Regardless of what they think when I do, or say weird things. I’m pretty fucking proud of who I am. Anyone who wants to love me, has to love my AS, I can not, and will not, change or pretend to hide who I am.

And for your entertainment…(Please note that the following site is a parody and is not to be taken literally) http://isnt.autistics.org