New Years

Now with Christmas over people have started focusing on new years. They start asking questions about plans and new years resolutions. New years has always been a time I reflect on the past year although I don’t really do much for planning for the next. My family always got together and new years was kind of like another christmas celebration, but without the presents. I never saw a point to it, getting drunk and staying up all night doesn’t seem the best way to start the year off to me. I prefer to spend the evening in quite meditation reflecting on my past. This past year had it’s up and downs but it has been a very good year for us. We bought a car, we have the house in our name. Nothing seriously bad has happened. We got chickens, I learned how to redo a roof. I also feel like our relationship has gotten better. We had our arguments at first. The first year together consisted of a lot of little conflicts. But now that we’ve been together 3 and a half years things are a lot different. I can’t even remember the last time we argued.

Discovering I have AS has brought forth a new chance for me. I can finally understand who I am and why I am the way I am. I can work with my relationships on an intellectual rather than an emotional level and through that I’m learning to communicate with the world in a new way. I’m finding it easier to ask questions and make comments. I’m seeing things I wasn’t seeing before. I always thought I must be ugly, or stupid or something but now I know I’m not. I’ve learned that I’m likeable, I just have to be a little more assertive.

All in all this has been a good year.

There are some things I want for the new year of course, there’s always things I want to do but I don’t make resolutions and I don’t beat myself up over them if they don’t happen. One thing is that I’d like to lose some weight. Back in high school, thanks to marching band and braces really. I was thin and in great shape. Now I’m fat and lazy. It takes a lot of work for me to keep myself thin. Running laps every morning, the pushups and actual marching were my excersize. My braces made my teeth hurt so I might only eat a small bowl of the softest thing on the table, mashed potatoes and stuff and head off to my room. I quite literally have to starve and work my ass off to stay thin. It’s quite difficult although I’d probably be better if I could just get my fat ass up and go for a jog, I still don’t really eat all that much. Hopefully getting a puppy will get me up and jogging, or at least walking. I’d also like to save more money, getting a pup doesn’t sound like the way to do that but really we just have to learn to stay home. We have cut back considerably though. I used to allow us 200 dollars a week for ‘fun’, fun included home repair projects and stuff too. It basically went for whatever we did over the weekend. But I cut that back to 100 dollars. So now we don’t really have enough to do anything and we’re saving 100 dollars a week in the bank. I want to keep doing that and get alllll our debts paid off except the house and the car. Once we do that we’ll be good to go, if I were to make a resolution that would be it, to have all our credit cards and loans paid off by this time next year.