Needin’ a Vacation

*frown* Well, I got my ass out of bed this morning and came to work. I’ve been finding it really hard to get up in the morning and do shit. I feel like I need a vacation from the world. A week on an isolated tropical island would really do me well. I’m fed up with everything and I just want to be alone for a few days and have no responsibilities. That and to take my mind of the current state this country is in. I honestly, ever since I started learning about government and the way this country works and the way other countries work, I’ve wanted to leave. At 12 I was saying I was going to move to England when I turned 18. Since then though, I’ve realized that England isn’t really for me either. I like it and I’d love to visit, but it’s not somewhere I’d want to live permanently. I want to live in Canada and so does hubby. We’ve half joked about moving there for a long time but the more we learn the more it’s seeming like a really good idea. I was looking up stuff on Monday and really, my biggest fears about moving to a new country don’t apply when it comes to moving to Canada. I, for instance, worried about being able to get our pets in to Canada but it’s easy as long as you have them current on rabies, there’s no quarantine or anything. No taxes on anything you bring in or anything either. Getting citizenship isn’t all that bad and you can hold a dual citizenship. The hardest part would be learning your way around, getting used to their systems and finding a job and figuring out where exactly you want to live. The getting a job part would be the scariest part for me because I’m not qualified to do much. I would hope that hubby would be able to support us that way I’m not under pressure to go apply somewhere I don’t really want to work. Besides, I’ve got to get my ass to college.

We’ve pretty much decided that we ARE moving to Canada, just not anytime soon. We need to get ourselves out of debt as well as finishing the work on the house we’re in to raise the property value.

Fortunately moving isn’t a big deal for me. I don’t get nervous or lonely or anything. Talking to my stepsister who is moving from Oklahoma to Maine in a couple weeks is making me realize how much easier it is for me. She’s got all these emotions about it; she’s excited but nervous. I remember getting ready to leave for Connecticut at 18 and I was clear headed, excited and ready for the adventure. I didn’t cry when I told my family good-bye, I was just like “See ya!!” The only tears I shed were when my dad was driving away headed back to Oklahoma. I shed a couple tears but then ran back inside to start unpacking. The only thing I have here in CT is my husband and my pets. It wouldn’t be hard to leave here at all considering I left my entire life in Oklahoma without a second thought. Everything I have in CT would be moving with me.

I never really realized it but I’m really detached. I tend to be more attached to things and memories than to people. Even people I love dearly, my grandparents for instance. The only person I’m attached to in a really strong way is my husband. I understand now why I sometimes get accused of being insensitive and uncaring. Like take this for example. If my grandfather were to die tomorrow I wouldn’t want to go to Oklahoma for the funeral, even if the family paid I’d try to turn it down. It’s not that I don’t love him, I do, dearly, him and my grandmother are the two people I love the most in my entire family and it would kill me. But funerals, I don’t need that kind of closure. I wouldn’t need, or even want to see him in a coffin. I have a few photographs and the most wonderful memories a granddaughter could have and that’s all I need. My family though, would think I just didn’t care.

*sigh* As I’m typing I’m sitting here listening to this really annoying guy. The one that calls other men “Big boy”. Man, I hate this guy. He’s not even supposed to be on this floor. My boss is supposed to be taking over his cubicle but this company is slow about doing EVERYTHING. It’s been a year since my boss was told she’d be moving. I once mentioned how I hated that guy to my boss and wished she’d get to move in over there soon. She replied and said that he was an old boss of hers and that she was going to pretend she didn’t hear what I said. Oops. I don’t know how she could possibly like that guy, he’s loud, obnoxious and my god is he full of himself. His tone and annoying catch phrases make me nauseous.

So anyway, I guess I should find a CD and maybe see about getting something done around here. I’m going to get the phone directory ready to go out and maybe clean the closet. I’m the only person down here that seems to care about the neatness factor of anything. You should see my co-workers cubicle. I swear if you dug down in his drawers you’d find he’d grown a new species of bugs or the cure for aids or something. I’d go clean his cubicle but he’d probably kick my ass when he got back from vacation. I’m not too keen on having my ass kicked really. Y’know, this is something I’ve never figured out either. My house is a MESS, I have a high filth tolerance AT HOME. At work though, I get frustrated when my desk is messy and annoyed at other people’s messy desks. At work I’m a neat freak, at home I’m a slob. I don’t get it, but whatever. Yeah, I’m going to go work now.