7/17/03

Well, Sara is back to her old self again. You wouldn’t know she had surgery on Monday. I certainly don’t recover that fast!! The vet gave us some de-wormer, it’s a liquid and we have to give her 8cc’s a day but the stupid little syringe only goes up to 3cc’s so I have to give her three doses out of the little syringe. On Tuesday (we had to wait until we knew she could hold down food) I opened the container of icky looking liquid and sniffed it (I sniff everything)and thought “oh great, smells like shit”. She took it really well though so it must be flavored. Yesterday though, she took the first syringe-full of it and didn’t really want to take the second and third. She’d look at me, look at the syringe and put her head down, kind of like she was saying “Nah, that’s okay, I’ve had enough now”. We finally got all three in her and she has one last dose of it today to take. At least we don’t have to hold her down and force-feed it to her, this is great. I think part of it is because she’s used to drinking out of a water bottle. Someone on here said water bottles could cause dehydration if the dog can’t drink well enough out of it. Nothing worked better for us though than the water bottle. Sara has no problem drinking out of it. Actually, she prefers that to her water bowl in the kitchen. She’ll walk right past that and go drink out of her bottle, so I guess it really depends on the dog. Regardless, it’s always good to watch for dehydration in ANY animal, it’s often one of the first signs of illness. We also bought the one with the biggest tube we could find. Anyway, she just licks the syringe like it’s a water bottle and it makes giving her medicine that way REALLY easy.

Sophie thinks she owns the house. She’s driving us insane!!! Her favorite thing to do is attack us from underneath the bed. If she sees one of us heading towards the bedroom she’ll dart in and hide under the bed and wait for you to get close enough for an attack. It’s really annoying, especially first thing in the morning. She’s cute though and hopefully she’ll grow up a bit fairly soon.

It’s hot in the office today. I’m sitting here and am all sticky. I can hear the air going so I don’t know what the deal is. Just like in the winter though I can hear the heat going even though it’s freezing in the office. Ever since AIG bought us out HSB has gotten cheap. I think they’ve cut back on both heat and air-conditioning. I don’t mind the cut back on the A/C as much as I do the cut back on the heat. Today is a little ridiculous though; it’s more pleasant outside.

I think my self-confidence is back permanently. My confidence and self-esteem is most definitely at an all time high. Even after that depressing OD I wrote the other day. For the past couple of years I’ve been really dependent on hubby, something as simple as a business trip could have sent me over the edge. If he had to be gone a day or two what would I do? I couldn’t drive without having a panic attack. I didn’t want to go out for fear of having to interact with people. Something as simple as knowing the cashier was going to say “Hello, how are you” would make me want to sit at home instead of going to the store. Granted I’m always uncomfortable in social situations, even simple things like the grocery store cashier thing. BUT, it’s never stopped me from doing things until recently. I don’t know what changed; I think it was a combination of things. I feel like whatever was broken inside me is now fixed. I’m still socially inept, I still have sensory issues but I can deal with them now more like I dealt with them in high school. I’ll never blend perfectly into society; people always have and always will look at me funny. I don’t like noise, don’t like to be touched much and can’t look anyone in the eye but that’s okay, at least I have my independence back. 🙂

I think maybe writing here has been part of what’s helped me. I can type to my hearts content and work through my problems. I hardly have anything to say anymore and I almost feel like I don’t need this place anymore. Like maybe I should move on; but I’m not going to. I’m going to stay here and keep right on typing. Maybe I’ll go back to working on some essays for my webpage and here. I haven’t added any new material to the ole webpage in awhile. It’s due for an update. 🙂

Now, if you’ll excuse me I’m going to go see what trouble I can get into elsewhere on the Internet. 🙂