5/16/03

I was forced to eat a donut this morning. Yes, forced. There was nothing on the breakfast bar, the cafeteria was running late. I don’t particularly care for muffins and cereal is a pain in the ass because I hate milk. I like cereal okay and will eat it with milk but I don’t use whatever milk is leftover and people tend to look at me funny when I’m standing in the bathroom dumping my milk. Plus they don’t have much for fruit down there that I like that isn’t messy. I like grapes, oranges and apples, that’s about the extent of it. I’ll eat strawberries & pineapple’s but they’re not my favorite. So I had a Boston cream donut. 🙂 My stomach is going to hurt in a few minutes. Sweets too early make my stomach hurt.

So, guess who didn’t get to see the lunar eclipse last night. If you guessed me then you are absolutely correct. We stepped outside at 9pm to see if we could even see the moon and we couldn’t. It was far too cloudy and there were no signs of the clouds clearing away anytime soon. So I took my shower and we were in bed by 10. 🙁 I was terribly dissapointed. Ah well, I hope those that got to see it enjoyed it. At least I’ve seen one before so I’ve not TOTALLY missed out right? Yeah, I’m like an optimist…or something.

In response to FallingDog’s note I’d like to mention that a few people have mentioned that, that it’s surprising that I’ve never used drugs at all. My mom brought it up once, said that she was surprised and that the reason she tried so hard to get me away from my father was so that I’d never become interested in drugs. I told her it was because I saw my father and who he became when he was on drugs that I never used them, or even experimented with them. Not only was I told time and time again by the television, DARE programs, my parents, including my father, that drugs were bad. I saw first-hand what drugs do to people. I watched my father when he was “out of control” of himself. I watched him and his girlfriend get into actual fist fights while they were high. I saw my father become a violent man, I’ll never forget standing on the porch, my hand reaching out for the handle on the glass door and watching a plastic cup hit the glass, it was full of ice water which went everywhere. It scared the living daylights out of me. My friend, the girlfriends son, looked up at me and said “maybe we should stay outside for now”. I saw how paranoid my father was all the time, not only was he a drug user but he was a dealer. He was never without a gun when he was out and he NEVER sat with his back to any door. When there was a knock at the door he flew out of his chair, hand inches away from a bat that was kept by the door. Then, a few years later I watched my dad go through drug treatment. He had an awesome therapist and made friends with many of the people on staff and even other ex-drug users. I watched him turn from being a horrible father to being a great father. The horrible father is what I remember when I think of someone using drugs. And that, along with the words of those police officers who visited our school have kept me from even so much as trying pot.

That said, I don’t have a problem with pot or the people who smoke it once in awhile recreationally. But I do have a problem with people who use drugs and alcohol and become dangerous and violent and who hurt their children either physically or mentally because of it. It’s not right and I’ve seen screwed up kids come from homes like I came from and it breaks my heart. The friend I had, the girlfriends son I mentioned, he wasn’t quite so lucky as I was, he didn’t react to these things in the same way I did, he reacted to them in a more typical way and went on to get himself into a lot of trouble.

So I started reading Sigmund Freuds “The Interpretation of Dreams today”. Very interesting so far. It’s been sitting on my shelf for awhile now unread, I have a lot of books like that. I’ve got Steven Pinker’s “The Blank Slate: The Modern Denial of Human Nature” sitting on my “to read” pile as well and I’m very much looking forward to getting to that one. There’s several other things as well waiting to be read. I certainly am good at biting off more than I can chew. 🙂 I keep thinking I need a hobby but then I think for a moment and no, actually, I need LESS hobbies. 🙂

We’re going to do that thing where you pick stuff up and put it away this weekend. Then you like wipe stuff off with a…um…a…rag, yeah that’s it! Then you take that noisy sucking thing and run it over the floors. Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Our house in an absolute catastrophe!!! We have a high filth tolerance which I guess isn’t necessarily a good trait. Our kitchen isn’t even usable right now. I would be horrified if someone showed up unexpected. It’d be like “Um, you want some coffee? I think the coffee pot is over there somewhere under those cookbooks and behind that stack of plates. You can move those magazine’s off the kitchen table if you want a place for your mug. Just uh, pile them over there on that other counter next to the pot holders and the stack of junk mail. Oh be careful not to trip over that empty soda case!!!” Yeah, um, we won’t even begin to talk about the state the bathroom is in. 🙂 Not to mention I’m currently wearing my last pair of socks! Eep!

Other than cleaning we’re going to start tilling the garden this weekend. Woohoo, we’re actually going to have a real vegetable garden!! The closest I’ve had to a real garden is my moms unproductive tomato plant in her flower garden. *chuckles*

I noticed some of my pansies I planted last year out front came back this year. Only two so far and we don’t have to talk about how many I planted and had killed by the end of last summer. I don’t uh, do plants very well, I’m too lazy and I don’t think about watering them until I looked over and holy shit they’re all droopy!! I’ve uh, actually managed to kill a cactus by not watering it. *chuckles* I fear for the vegetable garden but I think since that actually rewards you with food when you take care of it we’ll do it. Pansies just look cute, vegetables are edible. If nothing else I know we’ll have no shortage of dandelions in our yard. Those are edible although slightly bitter when you get close to the stem. That’s one edible weed you don’t have to pay special attention to. You can even mow em down and within a couple days you’ll have enough for a whole salad. 🙂 *curses* damn dandelions.

Oh yeah, Sara had her vet visit yesterday and she’s Lyme free. YAY. So now she’s been vaccinated against Lyme and is going to be getting spayed in July or August. She’s a healthy puppy and weighed in at 28lbs. 🙂

And I just realized I’m running out of characters so I’m going to close here. 🙂