4/9/2003

So back to my normal ramblings I suppose.

Sara is doing well, growing like a weed. I’m looking forward to her growing up. As much as I love puppies I’m looking forward to not having to take care of a baby anymore. I like things that can take care of themselves just a little bit more than she can. She should be perfect in about 3 more months since that’s when their ‘hold it’ muscles start working better. 🙂 When she can hold it all night and all day while we’re at work we’ll be golden (no pun intended). 🙂

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I managed to injure myself Monday night playing with Sara. I tripped on one of her toys and fell. I twisted my knee and my ankle and hit a large storage tub with my back on the way down. It hurt when it happened and I noticed it really started getting sore yesterday, this morning though I almost opted to stay home from work my knee is so sore. I thought about it though and realized I’m probably better at work b/c at home I’d have to go up and down stairs every time I needed something. At work I can take the elevator. I’m probably the biggest clutz (short of Sara) on this entire earth. 🙂

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I was thinking about what I want to do with my life again last night. What really bugs me is that I can’t decide. I’ve had so many ideas throughout my life and it’s just really hard to pick something. I’ve considered the following:

As a very young child I wanted to be either a vetrinarian or a paleontologist. Paleontology hasn’t really stuck but I still think it would be “neat”.

I considered being a teacher for awhile. Although I don’t want any of my own, I like kids when I can send them home at the end of the day. I’d want to teach something like first grade kids or kindergarten.

My Junior year I decided I wanted to pursue psychology. I even dropped band to take a psychology course that fell in the same time slot. That was also the year I met my hubby and realized that I wouldn’t be able to afford college. My dad agreed to pay for college provided I didn’t do anything crazy like get married at 18. Hehe, um, yeah, so I blew that. My sophomore year was also the year I ran away from home, got caught in PA and brought home. Dad switched my ass from public to a private christian school. *rolls eyes*

My senior year my passion for music was back in full swing thanks to a wonderful band director I had and some great friends I’d made in band. I decided at that point I’d try to get into teaching flute and sax and trying to find an orchestra to audition for, maybe going to college eventually if I needed more experience.

When I got up here getting into music wasn’t as easy as I thought. I bounced around from shitty job to shitty job until I landed a job where I am now. I’ve been here for three years and it’s a go nowhere job. I want out but I don’t know what to pursue, but I figure if I’m going to pursue something I might as well pursue something I like and something where I’ll feel like I’m making a difference. My biggest problem with my job right now is that it feels so pointless.

There’s three things I’d still like to do. Vetrinarian, Psychologist, Musician. The good thing about being a musician is that I can do that AND something else. So I could pick one of the first two options and still be a part time musician.

I still have time to decide, really, I think it’s more important right now to get hubby settled in with what he’s going to do then I can work on myself. If the doggy daycare thing works out I can always do that for awhile and be happy. Maybe that will push me towards being a vetrinarian, who knows, as much as I love animals that would probably be my ideal job. 🙂

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In closing I’d like to share a poem. This came in a newsletter from Healthybetta.com. When I first got interested in bettas that was the place I turned. I learned at that time that bettas were being severly mistreated. Part of what this group does is try to educate betta owners and stores that sell bettas as well as purchasing bettas that are really sick and dying. They nurse them back to health and either keep them or give them to people who really want and will take good care of them. I participate by taking in the sick bettas when I have an empty tank but I don’t give them away, I can’t, I get too attached. 🙂 A lot of people approach us with the attitude that by taking in a couple bettas once in awhile we aren’t really doing anything worthwhile but we are, each and every animal we save gets a second chance and that goes for animal rescue of all kinds.

The Star Thrower

by Loren Eiseley

One day a man was walking along the beach
when he noticed a figure in the distance.
As he got closer, he realized the figure was that
of a boy picking something up and gently
throwing it into the ocean. Approaching the boy,
he asked, “What are you doing?”

The youth replied “Throwing starfish back into
the ocean. The sun is up and the tide is going out.
If I don’t throw them back, they’ll die.”

“Son”, the man said, “don’t you realize there
are miles and miles of beach and hundreds of
starfish? You can’t possibly make a difference!”

After listening politely, the boy bent down,
picked up another starfish, and threw it into
the surf. Then, smiling at the man, he said,
“I made a difference for that one.”

And since I brought it up, know anyone who has a betta and is keeping it in a lily vase or a tiny little bowl? Visit http://www.healthybetta.com to learn how they should really be kept. 🙂

One of my boys, Curly: