12/29/03

08:52 am: Today isn’t turning out to be the best day. Nothing tragic is happening but things just aren’t falling together well. *frowns* I’m not in a particularly bad mood or anything but if someone were to piss me off that could change very quickly. Lets hope if my phone rings today it’s only nice people. 🙂

We’re taking Sophie and the kittens to the vet on Friday. Getting Sophie spayed, and the kittens are getting their distemper booster. I don’t know if I’m going to try to put them all in the same crate again or not. Last time Chester went poo in the crate because he got upset and we ended up with three poo covered kittens. At least if they’d been seperated we would have only had one poo covered kitten. Hmmm, seperate crates would probably be best.

Hubby is going to see about my car today. I have a 1982 Datsun 280zx with a blown headgasket. It’s one of those things though where I just can’t get excited about it. It’s let me down so many times. I couldn’t believe the headgasket blew after the engine rebuild. A piece of me dies every time something goes wrong with that car. The reason I say that is every time something goes wrong I come one step closer to just breaking down and selling it. I can’t hang on to something that is just going to continue sucking my wallet dry and I don’t have the patience for being stranded on the side of the road incessently. I really thought it’d be reliable after the engine was rebuilt. *frowns* Truth be told I almost hesitate to sink more money into it already. It’s like an ongoing battle with myself. I tell myself this is the most awesome car I could possibly own, then myself tells myself that it’s not economical to sink money into something “cool”, just for the sake of having it when I have a perfectly reliable car already. This will probably be the last time.

I didn’t call my grandparents on Christmas like I intended. I didn’t call because I was upset. Upset that my birthday passed by without a word from them mostly. I don’t know, my dads family can be really selfish, they think a person should stay close to their hometown and not “abandon” their family. I can’t help but wonder if they resent me for moving away, for trying to make a life for myself. They’re not the kind of people that would show it when I’m there if they do, so I don’t know, I’ll probably never know. But I can’t help but wonder if they’re talking about me behind my back just like they do to other people. All I know is no birthday cards came in the mail, no Christmas cards came in the mail, the phone never rang, and because of all that I couldn’t bring myself to pick up the phone to call them…I just couldn’t do it. Maybe I’m wrong too for not doing so, but I just couldn’t.

There’s more, but I don’t think it’s anything I feel like sharing. Maybe another day…maybe not. *shrugs* I’m going to go lose myself in some music and work.