1/16/04

We took Sophie to the vet this morning for her spay. Her appointment was scheduled for Monday but we had to move it AGAIN because of the weather. I absolutely hate packing up my pets, taking them to the vet and leaving them. I always fear they’ll feel abandoned and scared because they don’t know what’s going on. You can’t say “Okay kitty, it’s going to be okay you just have to go have surgery and we’ll be back to pick you up after work.” Well, you can say it if you like but they won’t understand you. We’re leaving work early today and taking the kittens in for their last set of kitten shots when we pick Sophie up.

In other news, I have a horrible toothache! It looks like the problem is with my gum, under one of my teeth it’s all inflamed, it started when I was eating dinner the other day, I don’t know if I injured it or what. I hope it goes away and doesn’t require a trip to the dentist. I hate the dentist!! I’ll give it a few days and see if it improves on it’s own.

I’m feeling optimistic. Today is going quite well so far. The problem with my pay has been straightened out, so that’s good. I spoke with my boss this morning and although he is a dork I think he’s going to be a good supervisor for me in the long run. He does have some neat ideas and says if he can push them through I’ll be instrumental in making them a reality. It looks like it’s going to be fun and challenging working for him, he even looks for feedback from me on his projects, likes to “share” what he’s working on, he’s excited, positive, and welcoming. I think I’ll be able to thrive working for him, I think I’ll be challenged and more of my talents will be put to good use. It’ll be nice not to be letting my brain sit here and turn to mush in this cubicle. I can’t say I’m 100% happy about everything that’s gone, and is going on, but at least I don’t feel like I’m on a dead end road in the middle of nowhere. I can be optimistic about this, and I’m not an optimistic person by nature.

I’m feeling better about my place in life as well. Our financial situation has improved dramatically, hubby got some financial advice this morning from a friend of his here at work that has us looking forward and planning for the future and retirement.

I’ve been working hard to improve my social awkwardness as well. Reading books on etiquette and things of that nature help me to understand what is proper when. Having Asperger’s Syndrome means I don’t have the basic social skills that just come naturally to everyone else. I have had to learn them like one learns to ride a bike. I didn’t realize this until the diagnosis so I had never made a conscious effort to try to learn these things. I just sat back, felt stupid and became so introverted I was making myself miserable. I’ll always be an introvert but I’m finding it easier to make small talk, reciprocate and things of that nature. Unlike a lot of other people who use their diagnosis as an excuse to hide in their homes, I will use it to empower myself and make myself a better person. I am not one who accepts failure, or fate. I will use this knowledge to overcome my problems and though I will always have AS, it will not be readily visible. The only thing I cannot fix entirely are my sensory integration problems.

And, with that I shall bid everyone farewell.

Haben Sie ein gutes Wochenende! 🙂