feeding my monster coal

This week has been a bit of a struggle. I don’t know if there is a certain reason as to why. The week has dragged out, and I havn’t been in the mood for anything, to do anything, to feel anything!

I don’t know what is is about this time of the year.

I hardly remember last years holidays. What I remember the most though, is my weight. I know what my weight was, but everything else? I see it as gray fog, and I can accredit that to the actual gray fog that filled the space inside my head.

Its really damn pathetic part is that I want that weight back. How the hell do you put that one on your christmas list?

Put it on my own christmas list to myself? Okay, so maybe thats what Yranie wrote on his christmas list. That would make me Santa in the world of monsters.

How do you go about giving your monster coal instead? I’m guessing you would have to want to give the coal.

Hmmmm. How about this, Make cookies or cupcakes, and then sprinkle them with coal sprinkles. See, by doing that, I can trick both sides. I get to consume the cookies and cupcakes, as much as I want, thus pleasing the tastebuds. But then I purge, ridding myself of the sweet, thus pleasing Yarnie. But somehow, and I haven’t figured this part out yet, manage to rid myself of only the sweets, leaving just the coal spinkes inside of me. I would have to be ammune to the coal, but it would be deadly for Yarnie. After the consumption and purge process, the remaining coal spinkles will absorbe into my blood stream. And only when everthing is all absorbed, the coal then will travel up to my brain. When the coal enters my brain, it will act as some sort of monster killer spray. (like weed killers)

Or not, there is no pleasing both sides at once. Only the one side. And that side is the monster side! That cookie coal sprinkle solution was all Yarnie talk!

Mostly it was weird nonsense talk. Overactive Imagination.

Its now the next day.

I had another sleepless night. Have I mentioned how unbelievably frustrating that is? Oh right, only about 1000 times. I am lucky I didn’t have to be up early this morning, because I finally fell asleep around 7am.

I was tired all day. I lacked much needed energy. I admit, I have been one of those last minute christmas shopping lunatics this year. I wanted to have a few things to give people at least. I would have usually spent a lot more time picking out gifts, but this year, as awful as it sounds, not much thought went into it. I didn’t bother asking what people wanted, mostly because I never even thought to do so. But I am sounding like a broken record with the holiday complaining, so I will move on…

I got Francois some glow in the dark ping pong balls.

I really need to clean my room. I have a very hard time keeping my personal spaces clean. You should see the inside of my car. Its pathetic. I must have about 53 empty diet soda bottles amongst the rubble. About 13 hats and scarves, a billion books…

Basically, it has become like a mobile closet.

Why the hell is it so hard for me to just remove the unnecessary items? Half the problem is me feeling the need to have all the extra hats and scarves and what not, just incase I feel the need to make a change in my accessories for the day. I do, however, change often, so I am at least getting use from the junk. Not that any of it is really needed.