don’t blame the pink bunny!

I woke up with a splitting head ache this morning. I was hoping a little of the crazy inside would fall out of the split, I wasn’t so lucky! I also had an awful stomach ache to accompany the head ache. I thought "well this is it,Iim most certainly dying!" Ha! I woke up, stumbled to the bathroom and promptly planted my ass on the floor where I contemplated weather I should bother to move from that spot or just stay where I was. I went with the in between. I sat there for a while with my head in my hands, then crawled back into bed. I had to call work to say I wasn’t quite able to make it into work on time. Seeing as how the simple act of walking seemed like a chore, I figured showering, doing my make up, getting dressed and driving to work was out of the question! Work was cool about it (thanks cindy!!!!) and I was able to rest for a little longer! I was beyond tired an the extra bit of rest helped. Okay so maybe the migrane medicine had a little to do with it too! I woke up feeling much better, but not completely better. My super head ache was reduced to minor head ache and my stomach felt mostly fine. But I chose to be dumb and eat just to throw up. Hardly the right path to take. I took a shower, did the whole get ready for work thing,  and got to work not feeling so great again. Albeit a lot better than the morning disaster! Work seemed long despite the fact of having about three hours knocked off my usual schedule. I took more medicine, but it did nothing, took more a little later, it did nothing, then tried again not long after that and it still did nothing. I gave up on the medicine front. What a waste! I had group tonight, I got there a little early. I felt like shit during group. I kept going from being hot to being cold. It felt like I had to throw up….real throw up (just had to throw that in there) After group I wanted to go home but had to stop at a few stores to pick up some stuff for work. When I got home I had the brilliant idea to make popcorn. I made said pocorn but then the pocorn made its way out of me…by means of purge, and not actual sick throw up. Again..really stupid. I should have came home and went to bed. But no, that never happens! Not to mention it was my moms birthday, so I had to giver her a little of my time to be fair. She got an ipad from the family and of course that got some attention from me too. My older sister had made her a cake, and it was taunting me! I really wanted to go to town on that cake. Could have gone to town, but didn’t! I was really hungry when I got home and wanted to have somewhat of a mini binge, but felt like I did with the popcorn anyway. although It couldn’t even be considered a binge since I didn’t finish the bag and my younger sister and my dad had some. It just felt to bad to have it inside me, and I figured I had to do something about it. I also had some vegitables and those made their way out of me as well! Thats really really dumb! I keep wasting so much food, and yet at the time I could care less because it is so very satisfying at that moment. When everything is said and done, thats when I start to feel like hell for doing what I did! But its a cycle I cant seem to find my way out of. Where is the stop button, and how do I make it stop. Its the energizer cycle, it keeps going and going and going…and the cymbals are banging loudly in my ears! No wonder I have so many head aches! It dosen’t seem fair to the pink bunny though, comparing him to an eating disorder, the bunny never did anything wrong. The pink bunny is innocent! Ha, Yarnie can play the cymbals, hes a talented little fucker!