DeSieFer

I hear a lot of crack a lackin…to lazy to look out of my window. Even if its only three and a half steps away from my bed. If you have seen fire works once, then thats enough, thats what I say

My legs are really twitchy. Im annoyed.

My other laptop has been a huge ass wipe, and I had to just give up on it. I tried to write an email last night and it took me about 45 minutes…it was about a four minute email tops!!!!

I spent indepndence day independently. Im lame like that. But Im also okay with that. My friend invited me to the park again but I avoided it this year. Last year wasn’t my idea if fun, so I figured may as well say no to no fun-ness. Although Im sure the park is quite a bit of fun to many, which is great for them but Im lame…remember?

Since I spent my independence day indempendently, I also spent it engage-ently(?) I used my symptoms full force. Call it elavated, code red…if you will. Im trying to make a connection with todays weather and Yarnie, I failed. That made almost no sense. I tend to try and connect things with things that have no connection what so ever! Its just what I do. I probably have lost you by now, which really is a good thing, because Im sure there are many more important things to be done rather than waste time trying to decipher my non sense entry.

Well..I just had to google decipher to try and decipher how to spell decipher. I had it as desypher…thats pretty much a whole new word right there. its DE-CIP-HER, not DESY-PHER..

I really get tired of googling words.

I had counseling yesterday evening. I was a little annoyed because I didn’t like how my therepists hair looked. Which is awful to say but it was distracting. She dosen’t always have bad hair, it was just yesterday. Two weeks ago we tried a sort of medatation technique as a way of trying to ease some anxiety. It didn’t work so well for me. She read frrom this thing that was trying to go through different body parts one by one and saying to relax that part of the body. I heard her for about a minute before my mind went somewhere else. I was relaxed maybe for a minute before my feet started wiggling. I couldn’t sit in one possistion that whole time so my body was also shifting. It took her too damn long to read the whole passage. It felt like five minutes to go through it all. You know where my mind can go within five minutes? Around the world and back again/. When she was through reading she asked how I felt. First I thanked her for taking the time to read it then I said that It didn’t work so well for me.  She asked why, so I had to tell her I was thinking about shopping, and that my feet couldn’t stay still, and that I was all itchy! She said that next week (which was yesterday) that she would bring something to read that was shorter. Except she forgot so I didn’t have go through that ordeal. She had also mentioned that the mediation thing would take some practice and time to get used to it. Im sure she ir right, but I don’t know if I want to spend my time practicing that, and I don’t think I would have the patience to do so. I would go tired of it.  quikly. I don’t think I will give up on i just quite yet though. If it ends up working thats great, if not, I lose nothing.

The other day I saw a lcoud that looked like the Hulk.  I have been seeing a lot of differen’t objects/shapes in the clouds. It can get really dangerous while driving. I usually end up turning the wheel in the direction Im looking. The easy solution to this is to to stop letting my cloud imagintaion control me. It should be easy to just not look, but its not, at least for me it isn’t. If I see something that catches my eyes, Im going to look. I hate road signs for this reason…It could be a stop sign , yet I am to busy reading it that next thing I know Im heading straight through the intersection with on coming cars. Its something I really have to work on.

I was going to add more camp pictures, but I don’t want to take the time to do that anymore.

Back to reality tomorrow…well wrok reality!