close encounters of the wal-martian kind

Last night was good. I went shopping, met ut up with a great person, and met a few crazy wal-martians!

I hate waiting, hate it, I just can’t seem to do it. But  waiting in the 30 minute wal-mart line last night at around 11pm was….special! (to say the least!) I believe I stood infront of the worlds (or perhaps just the towns) dumbest person. I know thats not a nice thing to say but really, if yoe were there, you would understand.

Im the type of person that cannot hold in laughter. Its really bad when the laughter is at anothers persons expense! But I just couldn’t stand there and not laugh because the things this person was saying was like….reeeeaaaalllyyyy??? Really???? The apple dosent fall far from the tree, I can say that for sure! It was a father and his son, or so I assume by the conversation between the two. The kid must have been eight or nine, and the father Id say was in hit twentys. They were both rather large which is fine, but made things all the more fun. The kid was a hot mess, his face was covered in something…food maybe? chocolate, or it could have just been dirt! I dont know, dosent matter. I hear the father say "dont your mother ever wash you?" and thats about the time I just lost it! I already knew these two were going to be somewhat of a riot, but that just confirmed it. This is one of those situations where you had to be there….but it was damn funny. I continued listining to them,  all the while laughing more and more. I had to pick up a magazine to distract me. It didnt work well! haha. I was nearly on the floor rolling with the things being said. The girl infront of us started laughing too, which didn’t help. And the father, he was a big galoot, and had a very slow way of talking! Among the things I heard him say, "Im not gonna buy no junk, Im not gonna spend no money on you…..hey I like those chips, lets get some of them chips, do you like the green ones or the yellow ones?" refering to pringles, because appearently they are colored and not flavored! another thing…"when we get home you can play a little play station, then take a bath because we have to get up early for work" This was at 11pm…tell me whats wrong with the picture. Why the hell do you have your kid out that late in the first place. Then he says "we can’t be late for work becasue you don’t never call in sick, not never" I noticed from their conversation that the sole reason they were at wal-mart was to buy the kid a pair of swimming goggles because the kid just might go swimming the next day, after work that was. Oh and the kid was already playing video games, I turned around to see the kids ass planted on the floor playing one of those handheld games….or whatever they are called! I guess the dad was attempting to entertain the child while in line because I heard him say " close your eyes and look up, im gonna show you a magic trick" hmmmmm. Well If your eyes are closed, then why must you look up, not to mention if they are closed how can you actually "look up"??? I’d say that your eyes would need to be open in order to "look" up! Unfortionatley by this time it came time for us to check out and I didn’t get to see the magic trick. I was quite curious. I really did feel bad for laughing though. I know thats not nice, but God help the two. I want to go back to Wal-Mart just to experiance this again. And to think, I experianced all of this just because I needed some body wash. I waited 30 minutes in line just to buy that…well and a dvd, but I guess you can say that it was all worth it because I was utterly entertained. Im curious to see the mother. That has to be a sight! By the time we left I was still laughing, and I couldn’t stop. The conversation was playing over and over in my mind. It just got funnier and funnier. I could hardly drive, it must have looked like I had been drinking. I can see me being pulled over with a cop asking "ma’am, how much have you had to drink tonight" And all I would be able to say is " not a drop officer, but I was at Wal-Mart!" I serioulsy couldn’t hold myself together! 

I don’t mean to offend anybody who works there or shops there, because, hell, I was just there shopping last night, but you really can find some funny ass people at Wal-Mart. Im not sure I ever had such fun at Wal-mart infact. I ususally hate it because there is a million people there all the time, and the lines are long and its a place where I used to buy binge food. I can say that last night was a fun Wal-Mart trip. I recomend it solely on the fact that  you may just find a few interesting Wal-Matians. I told the girl infront of us " this is exactly why I go to target" But I may just have to change my mind. Or at least make a late night Wal-Mart trip a Friday ritual! 

I want to draw a picture of the two Wal-Martians. I have a drawing of a few special people that I always see around town. They are Moon Face, Crystle, and Heat Miser. I need to make a book or something. Now I have More to add! 

Im not weird at all!