beaking glass tables

Oh the horrors of attending a wedding. It shouldn’t be a scary event, except for me, it is. Its a huge social situation! I don’t do social situations, or I don’t handle them well at least.

It was a big nice fancy wedding. Im not nice or fancy. Im laid back more or less, and rather casual.

The wedding was for a girl I grew up with. Her and her now husband had a full Catholic ceramony. The brides dress was so damn beautiful, like show stopping beautiful. She looked like she belonged on the cover of a bridal magazine! The church was gorgeous, and so was the ceramony, oh except for the amount of time it took. I don’t wait well, I don’t sit well, I don’t pay attention well…It was just too long for me. It didn’t help knowing that two former United players were there. I spent most if the ceramony focusing on them. Im not an organized religion person, so I felt a little silly not knowing the prayers and all, as every other person there seemed to know what was going on. At the end of the ceramony, we all went up to the preist to be "blessed??" I guess, we all got one of those things we were suppose to eat. Well, I wasn’t having it, I didn’t eat my Christ Cookie, I didn’t know what the Christ Cookie was made of (well I really didn’t even know what it was to tell the truth) and I didn’t know the calorie count, so I held on to it instead. I slipped it into the flyer thing..the thing that tells you whats going to go down during the ceramony…what are those called again? anyway, I apolagized to God for not eating the holy cookie, and asked for him to forgive the eating disordered, as we just don’t eat scary and unknown substances. My sisters gave me shit for not eating it, but oh well. I left the flyer thing in my sisters husbands car, along with the Christ Cookie, so perhaps Im giving him a good luck token, there for leaving me forgiven for giving such a kind gift. Actually, you know what? I think the holy snack may have melted. Tj left his windows down during the reception and we had torrential down pours of the monsoon kind and I remember the brochure pamphlet got all wet. So if thats the case perhaps the goodness dispersed and seeped all through out the car, leaving his whole care protected from bad! …or Im just thinking way to much about the Christ Cookie….

The reception was the scariest part really. Its the time where you are suppose to socialize and let loose. Its the time to drink, eat special baby sized snacks, then eat a huge meal, and dance like you are having fun, then eat cake. The reception was in this really nice party tent….or event tent…I don’t know the correct term! again, it was so pretty inside the tent, The flowers on all the tables were so pretty! To bad all the lovelyness didn’t help the situation becaome enjoyable. Oh and did I mention the United players. They really became a distraction. I wanted to walk up to them and tap on their shoulders and say " hey, guess what, your last name is on my jersey" and then take of and hide under a table. But don’t worry, I didn’t do that, I just watched them from a safe distance. It was a little uncomfortable sitting there watching everybody drink and be merry……(and be married. haha)  I don’t enjoy drinking, and I guess I don’t enjoy being merry…or I don’t know how to be merry. It was just all uncomfortable. A salad was served, I pretended to eat it, by picking at it and then drinking my water and diet coke on the rocks. Dinner was served a little later, it was 9pm by this time. It was like a giant monster served on a plate. Dinner was chicken, steak, crabcake, mashed potatoes and vegitables, all of which was mostly covered in some sort of sauce. I didn’t want anything to do with it, but found some sauce free squash to pick at. I cut that up into small pieces to create the illusion of me enjoying the carnivoures dinner. Im not so sure it worked. I ended up giving the crabcake to my sisters, the steak to my sisters husband, and Sam (my younger sister) took the potatoes of my hands…of my plate…..Then I placed my fancy lap napkin on top of the plate and pawned it off to the server. With that out of the way I began to feel a bit of relief, thats until the tent began to wave and shake  from the wind as rain pelted it like rocks. The power kept going of, and then the DJ had to stop the music to announce that we were in the middle of a tornado warning. My sisters are both terrified of storms to then it was their turn to freak out. It was my turn to act as the sane one. I thought that they were both about to go into cardiac arrest. It was also interesting to watch other people panic. I looked around and saw about half the wedding guests (and there was a lot) on their cell phones….as if being on a cell phone would protect you from being sucked into a spinning spiral of wind. Turns out we all made it through in one giant group piece. The party continued, my head hurt…you get the drift. Or maybe you don’t because as it turns out, after Tj pulling Sam and I out onto the dance floor, I ended up having fun. I can’t dance, I am sure I made a complete insane fool of myself…and did I mention the United players…they were dancing in the same area as I was…Oh…also my very first friend from when I was just two or three years old happened to be at the wedding? His name is Brent, and Brent was my very first kiss…sure it was a little kid kiss, but still. I think I was four when that happened, I was moving away, so I got a good bye kiss. Brent ended up coming up to me to say hello. It was weird, I had noticed him from earlier in the evening and thought for sure he wouldn’t have recognized me. Then the shin dig died down, all was over, and I even got to take home a vase full with the really pretty flowers. A tree had fallen down in the road during Hurricaine Clark so it took a while getting out of there. When I got home around 1am…the damn power was out. I was pissed because I sleep with a fan on for the sound. And it was pitch dark and I kept running into shit, and I didn’t even have a light to use so I could read a little. And because I couldn’t shower and wash my face…or I could but I didn’t feel like pulling out a pale to fill with cold water bottle water and using that to get the job done. I went straight to bed, where it took me a good while to get comfortable, and to get used to the silence, but eventually I fell asleep..only to be woken by the bastard cat five times. Yes five times, theres no exageration there. I was so pissed that I finally picked his ass up and chucked him outside. Don’t worry, cats are nimble. He was just fine, I know because he did his annoying little cat rub against my legs when I woke up for good at 8am. The power was still out in the morning, and I was very unimpressed. I went to my sisters to shower and then when I got home the power was back on.

In other useless news, while babysitting today, the boys broke a glass table. Again, I wasn’t impressed. They were playing exactly wher ethey were not suppose to be playing. And god knows how they managed this one, I look away for a second and next thing I know Calebs arm is through the table. He managed to do that with out any harm to himself. Then They blamed the lamp. Some how I do

ubt the lamp jumped on top of the table and smashed through it. Caleb wouldn’t admit that he leaned on it while him and josh pretending to make tunnels for their new toy cars. He told me, "well,  I cant really remember, I don’t know what I did" Im just glad he wasn’t hurt. I sent the boys to the other side of the room to play so I could clean up the mess, and the next thing I hear is "Jooooosssshhhh spiiillllttt waaaatttteer on the fllloorrrr" Seriously????

And now I sit here, pretty bored, and wanting to go home to sleep with the sound of my fan! Or I should say lie in bed awake with the sound of my fan!