Poetry Contest, Round 1

Disclaimer: I wrote this in about 20 minutes. It’s ROUGH, to say the least. That’s what I get for joining this thing 30 min before the deadline…

Study Abroad
the highways all say
National Emergency
and I can’t leave home

steel and concrete fell
and I lived from my suitcase
two days, three days more

my selfish journey
I left my nation mourning
bound for England now

I wanted to learn
I wanted that passport stamp
I wanted to live

I got on the plane
and landed tired and dirty
luggage missing, cold

this country’s not mine
but they’re talking about mine
with fear and sadness

I can live here, right?
At once strange and familiar
too late to go home

The guilt feels funny
Did I abandon them all
so I could travel?

Classes start soon but
The stripes on the Union Jack
don’t comfort me much

Caroline [pagemaster] turned me on to this. Might be a good something for me to do for myself…

Pendorah

January 26, 2008

at allpoetry, by chance?

🙂 I like it. A lot. and Margaret (in GA) said that Craigslist isn’t such a bad option- if you use a basic screening process and charge an adoption fee to be donated to a rescue or shelter, you should get a good home for her. I can help you, if you like.

White Coat

January 31, 2008

For being written in 20 minutes, it is very good – I particularly liked the 4th stanza, and the comparison to the stripes on the Union Jack with that of the US Flag in the last stanza. There may have been a line or two (technically speaking) that had too many syllables (by one or two), nothing major. I really liked the expression of guilt with the idea of potentially abandoning your home country

for a new one for personal gain. Patriotism vs. personal freedom and discovery. Hope classes go well for you! Bravo!

Poetry contest round 2 is up. Best of luck!