really?

i find it funny that no one comments on any of my other entries. only the first one.  i also am amused by the fact that some people think i care about their negative responses. im not making you read this. if you dont  like what im typing, click something else.

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THE DRESS WAS SOOOOO FUCKING AWESOME!

it was a little b&w number, with a halter top and a very full skirt.

what should i make next?

right before i left, i decided that i HAD TO cover my white stilettos in blood splatters. i went somewhere with mch and wore them… but i cant remember where we wnt or what we did. i also cant seem to remember what i wore with the shoes.

it could have been tuesday- mch and i went to visit bs. i was being picky about my outfit [as always] so i borrowed some of mch’s clothes. when bs saw me, he said i looked like grace kelley!!!!

yesterday i spent time with jbb. we went to his grandparents’ home to see his brother. i had never met his grandparents before and i really like them.  his grandpa refered to me as "little gaga"– which like so totally made my month, by far! i think jbb’s older brother [justin] has a crush on me. [lololololololololololo]

jbb is waywayway into the bible these days. it was disappointing. but his mom just died, so i can understand that he needs to cling to something. i told him physics is where its at.  like for real.[ i like it more than lavey’s teachings.  jbb seemed impressed by that]

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have you ever been around people that remind you of your former self… and you then realize how embarrassing/awful/naive you used to be…..? yeah, that totally happened to me. it was an enlightening experience, to say the least. all i kept thinking was, "im so happy ive changed… think of what i could have become if i had continued on that path"

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mch misses me already. i lovelovelove him. i really like everything about our relationship. except the distance. but even then, it just makes the time we spend together that much more special. he said he’s coming to visit me the day after tomorrow.  we will see….

i havent taken my bc in over a week. im not trying to reproduce. i just stopped taking it.

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ive successfully quit smoking cigarettes. now i just have to work on controlling the rampant drug use. its gotten a lot better recently. ive cut off contact with most of my connections. my problem is that if i can find it,i will probably do it. and with that attitude, i will never be able to be sober. i was completly straight for 2 weeks [in may] when i thought i was pregnant. of course, as soon as i knew for sure i wasnt, i went right back to my old habits. mch was so impressed [by the 2 weeks of sobriety].  he liked that i cared about him enough to be willing to have his child without the risk of birth defects.