i said i was going

to go to sleep. but it hasnt happened yet.

side note: sometimes i abbreviate so much in here that I forget what they mean. lolololol oh well

so, i told you to remind me to tell you about  the *disturbing* fantasy involving k….. well, here you go:

i want him to be face down, on his knees, wearing a ball gag, with his hands tied behind his back, possibly with barbed wire, and i want to be wearing a strap on, fucking him in the ass while at the same time reaching around to the front and jacking him off.  i want to be able to look down and see tears streaming from his eyes and listen to his muffled cries. but this is NOT a rape fantasy. all of it is to be consensual. it more of a dominance thing.

it not even that bad, but i told b, and he said it was incredibly disturbing.

i have to conjure up that image every time k pisses me off so i dont say something that could get me fired. altho,  the more i think about it, the more i seem to get aroused. recently, the fantasy has gone further, and the aforementioned actions occur as just foreplay, and part 2 involves me removing the ball gag and the barbed wire, making k lay on his back, and proceeding to ride his face-until he brings me to intense climax, producing ejaculation [female] , after which, intercourse ensues– sometimes in my office chair [i would be on his lap, with my back to him], or sometimes on his desk [ he would be on top of me]. i cant decide which i would prefer.

i am very happy that no one can read my thoughts at work. bc this would just be weird.

i kind of want my fantasy to be a reality, but im only 60 percent sure that k would go for it.