New here 👋

I’ve just stumbled upon this sight. I am in the middle of a pretty big life transition (for me). I’m sure I need to talk to a therapist but I journal when I feel the need to get something off of my chest. It would be nice to have this as well. I am fresh out of a 10-year relationship so I am on my own and kind of figuring out who I am, what I want and learning to live with myself.

I have a lot of stuff I could say. But for today one thought I’ve had is a couple of people have told me how well I am handling all of this and while I sort of agree I cannot fully agree because when I am out or at work I am distracted but when I’m home I’m left with my thoughts. With all this being said I am coping how I know to and at some points I am breaking. Some of those times may be me actually crying. Some of those times may be me drinking a little too much or reminiscing about the past. Some of these times I am just tired of pushing through and seeming like I am perfectly fine when in reality I am not. I have to be to keep living right now but I am not totally fine. I get mad just like everyone else I have bad days just like everyone else but I feel that bad days or bad moods automatically mean it is because of what I’m going through. No one has said this I just feel that people think this. Almost like I’m not allowed to have a bad day because I’ve been “doing so good”. I really need to get better about not assuming because this is mainly all in my head.

Sorry to rant I just needed to get something off of my chest and I didn’t want an active response like I would receive if I picked up the phone and called a friend from back home or a family member. If you read this thanks for listening.