no speel cker and i dont’ care

Free flow rant, and a dampend mood. i have been called to question a core value. my quest you see, the reson i am in the desert in the first place. My grail if you will. you see i need to find god, not that way of course not one of you understode what i ment by finding god. not one of you ever could. you see a journy of a thousand leagues begins where I am standing. i, i, i, my quest my “mental masterbation” what perpose does it serve. it is a passion yes but so can be cross-stich. why this passion, hehehe, the passion of kit, the agony of intergration of opposets. i am that i am not. I think NOT (and proptly dissaperared).

for what perpose. why? it quickly became part of my core. it has only been a few months, but … it … i don’t know i just need to READ, LISTEN, hear becuse there are messages out there. I hear messages like i am scyto-Phrenic i don’t care i don’t care id osdintd care./

there once was a reson. it was to save me, and it did, and it still is. but why me? why is this the path that was for me. what value did i wish for my self by choicing this for me… it has to have been selfesh at one point, it is not like me to … Fame? no, Impact! tring to make an impact.

study how it is done. find a Unified anything take two things and make them one. it is the path of Zen but the way of the Budda is the path of least reseistence. i am tring to hard.

grasping at sand. calm, calm, calm.  but i sence the messages in the texts. they bring happeness and they can be made one. cuz in the end “there can be only one”.

gospel, good news! we already are all one. … if all points return to one point to where does that one point return…

gospel, good news! we are all saved from our sins and no longer need to make sacrifices becuse the Sun of God choise with love to die for us. let his Marterdom echo down the mellenium to reminde humankind of the messages of peace and the means at which the lords lamb was slautered. it was the enequtiy of the orginizations of Men that made churches out of the words of GOD that brought the lamb and the Romen EMPIRE provided the sacrificial blade. Both sides of the leaders of men. the Church and the State coming together to perform a sacrifice for all mankind. and the Lamb gave himself freely.

yet this does not releace us off accountablity for our acctions nor does it reliquesh our spiretual need to sacrifice. it does however meen that is is not nessesary to make Blood sacrifices, a single drop of blood from an inocent should be enough to baptize the world (metephoricly of course)

we are still responciple for our lives becuse it is us that has to live them. you see, we are stuck with ourselves and the natural concequences of our actions.

we must still make sacrifice, we must freely give of ourselves to our brothers and sisters in the Family of Humankind. nay the Family of Life… (the universe and everything 42)

the law of karma, the golden rule, the majic of charity: the more you give the more you have. this is why it is important to sacrifice, but not only that, it must be done freely and with love.

i guess i do this becuse i enjoy it. it makes me feel smart, kind of a nice ego boost, (what about all thouse years of tring to distroy the ego… what about that kit? never mind… you.)

i guess in the end it is all just mental masterbation, but a little masterbation is good for the soul.

love to all,

kit