Rustling Trees and Sorbet Skies

Driving home from work is always the most cathartic as it’s turned to summer and the sky is still setting in the northwest, the silhouette of clouds crowding out the faint sun as it turns into the yellow, blue and green. On this particular night, as the 4th of July nears yet again, I see a firework burst and fade out all at once behind a largely overgrown tree and suddenly it feels like four years hasn’t passed at all. I am closer to 30 now, when did that happen? Someone once said “you’ll hit a certain age where time just passes you by.” Feels like I’ve been dormant for what seems like a lifetime.

All too often I am comparing my page to someone else’s and always feeling I come up short. Everything I worked so hard for seems like nothing now, in a constant state of regret and resentment. What the fuck do I do?

I’m not sure where I fit in this world or how I am even suppose to contribute to it.

At war with all I know, fleeting feelings of happiness and lingering sorrows. Never knowing what I truly want, weighing all the options only to choose nothing at all.

Entry Playlist:

Modest Mouse – Ocean Breathes Salty
Modest Mouse – Blame It On The Tetons
Modest Mouse – One Chance
Cage The Elephant – Trouble
The Strokes – Chances
Say Anything – Six Six Six
Say Anything – So Good
Say Anything – Anarchy, My Dear