[Entry] Why?

         I love you." he says, and I stare deeply into his eyes, breathing icy fire into my soul..
   "Cory, I love you more than anything in this entire world." My lips twitch as I think about our future, the day that I’m going to have to say goodbye. He smiles a delicate smile and strokes my smooth face cupping my chin in his hands and kissing me softly. The kiss shoots lighting bolts through me, the good kind. I wish I had the courage to say what I want. To say: I don’t want him to leave me, I’d die without him…I wish I had the power to be selfish sometimes…but I can’t find it within myself to say it.
                                                    Then again, maybe this is supposed to happen.
                     Maybe it’s a test in life I’m supposed to overcome, I’m not anywhere near religious, but I do believe in fate.

I know somehow our live intertwined and locked into place like a puzzle piece for a reason, a damned good reason.
                          At least it’d better be, I wouldn’t swear to stay with someone I was willing to.. he’s the first person thats made me feel beautiful..
               and meant it.

              I like to stare into his perfect blue eyes and just stare with love,
it’s almost like I could touch his soul, almost tasting it,
Honey sweet, it’s almost too much.

I wish I could just talk to him tell him to just work a 9 to 5 the rest of his life and live pay check to paycheck..
with me, owning nothing but each others hearts.

But I couldn’t ever ask that of someone, not even a complete stranger.
 
 
Sometimes, when I really think about it, and I mean like extra deep,
I almost want to melt into him, become the marrow of his bones
Become his blood, keep him alive.
Does that sound weird?
Well, in any case I wouldn’t care.
That’s just how much I love him.
We’re soul mates, nothing less.

                           I wish sometimes though, he would just go to college.
                           I wish sometimes, that maybe he will just work 9 to 5.
                           But I wish so much, to where it just becomes wishful thinking.
                           Nice to think about, but not likely to happen.

                                                                              I wish I could        just  ask     him   to
                                                                        please stay, after       all, I mean, he loves
                                                                  me. He says that he       would  do    absolutely
                                                                  anything      for me, and  I  appericiate   that   so,
                                                                much.  I  wish  I  had  the  courage to just say NO
                                                              But I can’t  because I  know it  would be completely                             
                                                              Wrong of me to do that. No matter how much I love
                                                                him. I  love how  I can just be fat around him and 
                                                                  he just doesn’t care one bit. How we can have
                                                                     fun anywhere, no  matter  where  it  is  in the
                                                                       world. We  could  stay  inside  all  day and
                                                                          sleep  forever, combined  like  vines, in
                                                                             and out of each other. I love how we
                                                                                can talk about how much we love
                                                                                  each other and never get tired
                                                                                    of hearing the  same damn
                                                                                       thing over and  over and
                                                                                         over again. I  love how
                                                                                           we are ourselves no
                                                                                              matter where  we
                                                                                                But    mostly    I
                                                                                                 love he, Cory
                                                                                                   Paul Brunt.
                                                                                                       forever.

What exactly does it mean to love someone? Why exactly do we love? I mean, don’t get me wrong I love loving, but the big question i have is…

                                                                                         Why?
Jeez, there’s so much I want to say, I just don’t know how to say it.
Maybe I’ll say it next time..