I guess I owe an entry,,,,,
Well there has been so much going on….
- For starters, I found out I am pregnant again :*( to me right now that is upsetting, we weren’t planning on having anymore, unless we were guaranteed a boy, and since there is no guaranty on that stuff. We chose not to have anymore. Things were perfect just the way there were just the 4 of us. I found out via home pregnancy test 2 days before Jon passed away. I broke down that day for sure cried like it was the most horrible thing ever and at that moment it was……until 2 days later Jon dies I guess someone was showing me there was something far more horrible huh?! I am still not excited or extremely happy yet. I can barely control the ones I have and I am supposed to take care of another baby? We were in the grocery store, and i heard a newborn baby crying….i started crying and got hives. I dont want to go through all this sickness bs and omgosh the labor part again.. I had both my kids natural I dont want to o through all that again. Dont judge me!
- Next my inlaws are moving to California I really dont want them to go that is like a 3 day trip by car. Is it sad that I cried when I heard? and now even though we are 45 mins away we have to take care of there house since they are renting it out and my husbands siblings are not going to be any help, we dont need anything more on our plate.
- My baby boy is starting 4k in a week…. aww I cant believe how fast time went and he is so excited to go. He has an eye dr appointment with a specialist for his lazy eye on Thursday.
- My husband isnt dealing well still with the loss of his best friend, I wish I knew how to help him. I just try and be there for him. His hardest times he says is when its slow at work and there isnt much to do when the machine is running. He talked to Jon everyday pretty much and that has been hard for him because he cant now. It still doesnt feel real to me, I hurt the first week, for my husband and I still hurt for him now, I just keep thinking I havent talk to jon because he is still acting like an asshole from when we went up north. I know this is going to be a long healing process but I really dont have time for healing lol
- well i have to go check on the kids sorry its been so long