Yay for the US day!

Yes, we all celebrate it differently.
I started off the day doing chores but am now sitting around doing nothing. 

Might as well face it.  I am lonely as FUCK.  I might even say I’m bored.
But mostly I’m just lonely.

Last 4th of July I was illegally shooting fireworks off with a handful of friends in random streets East side… and we made a game out of trying to decide whether the loud bangs were fireworks or gunshots and running from police sirens.  I also downed almost an entire bag of Julio’s tortilla chips and salsa.  Heh. 
The year before that, I celebrated with Kelly and his friends, shooting fireworks off in his backyard where they almost lit me and his entire lawn on fire.  Kelly’s dad had made salsa and I downed almost all of it.  (See a pattern here? HEH!)
Before that, I always used to have mini firework parties in my driveway… where my friends and I used to try to beat each other up with sparklers, shoot Saturn Missiles off consecutively and fire artillery shells from the mailbox.
This holiday has always been a day for friends.

I guess I’ve hit a new low cuz now I’m just feelin’ fucked.  Kelly’s back in town but I have this hunch that both of us are avoiding seeing the other.  Oh, it hurts…  hurts pretty bad cuz it’s my fault.  I started and ended the damn relationship.

I haven’t heard from the friends I was supposed to go see fireworks with tonight so I’m assuming they’ve cancelled on me.  I denied lunch with Randy.  Jeana’s working.
So I guess it’s all my fault, really.

I’ll climb up on the roof and watch fireworks.  Something I’ve ALWAYS wanted to do.  Except with good company. 
I don’t want to hang out with my parents.  I’m so fed up with them.  I would have gone to lunch with Randy if they wouldn’t have yelled at me for going out with him once and the two of us could have continued our conversation that needs to be finished.  I’d probably work harder at seeing Kelly if my dad wouldn’t have yelled at me for that AND for dating him in the first place and ruining our relationship (this grievance really pissed me off).  Sheldon offered to drive from Houston (4 hours away) to keep me company tonight but my parents don’t like him either.    And my parents have nerve to make fun of me for not having a boyfriend.  I can’t wait until I move out so I can make a decision on my own without it being scrutinized and then getting yelled at (on top of my own chagrin) if it doesn’t go right.
I wish my parents’ opinions didn’t matter so much to me in the first place.  I think I would be a much better person.
For the first time in my life I wish I could just get stone drunk.

Anyway, have a Happy Yay US Day.  🙂

-INMATE-

Wearing:: Black and white athletic shorts, black tshirt with pink, silver, green graffiti writings all over it.