Tips for hoisting a 300 lb. water heater:
- Be strong. Be very, very strong so you don’t jerk on the rope which will jerk your father who is maneuvering the beastly item while balancing on the attic steps. He will shout angrily
and you will groan in pain as you have to RAISE the bitch again. - Have good balance , so you don’t step through the plasterboard and insulation that is your attic floor, or tumble down the attic stairs to the wooden hallway floor.
(Which did NOT happen, by the way. Whew.) - Wear gloves to prevent open blisters and rope burn that would otherwise decorate both of your hands, conveniently before you are finished pulling/lowering rope. But it’s okay if you don’t; you won’t feel the pain until you are done and can’t open your fingers all the way!
- Be determined and myopic, so that when the going gets tough and the phone rings you do not drop the water heater halfway through and destroy a good chunk of your house and attic! (Didn’t happen either. Whew.)
DO NOT underestimate the weight of your water heater, nor overestimate the strength of your daughter who volunteers to help you, nor underestimate her resolve to DO THE FUCKING JOB no matter what the cost.
Yes. Today my dad creates a rope pulley and asks me to hoist the current broken water heater down from the attic while he maneuvers it from the stairs.
It takes A LOT out of me to move the fucking beast from its pan to a wooden block before we put it down the stairs. He asks, in typical father fashion, if I can handle it this job and if I can’t we have no other option anyway. 
"It’s only around 75 pounds," he finishes, "I don’t know why you’re struggling with this!"
"I CAN DO IT!" I say determinedly.
(Insider tip: I’m an Aries. I say I can whether or not I can do the task. Only this time I was wondering if I really could– because I didn’t want to find out halfway through this project that I COULDN’T lower it. 
)
So, I try to raise the heater so we can move it down to the first ledge and I’m dripping sweat by now. "I don’t know if I can-"
"LOWER!" my dad bellows.
Well, HELL; I lowered and thankfully, SOMEHOW, we get the beast down to the floor. My hands are raw, I got a few open sores from the rope and I’m totally loopy 
from adrenaline.
My dad leaves with the water heater on his dolly. From a few rooms away I hear him tell my mother, "SHIT this is heavy. No wonder she was having trouble with this, it’s still got a bunch of water in it. It weighs at least 300 pounds."
(And I weigh what? 120? NICE. )
Pulling the new water heater up was a cinch (in comparison), even with blistered hands!
The good thing? I might be able to take an actual SHOWER tonight! 
† INMATE †
Last ate:: Some chocolate. I’m so HUNGRY!!!!
Feeling:: TIRED- I need a nap. 
Man, I DESERVE a nap! Hehe.
** laughing ** For a second I thought you were writing about MY family and some of the ridiculous things we do because Mom or Dad don’t want to pay to have someone who knows what they’re doing and has L&I in case of an injury! Case in point: the “metal desk debacle” of 2006! My Dad has some fascination with metal desks, so he has 6 of them. One on top of another in 3 rows in the garage. When itcame time to move them all out, who did get to help? His three strong kids (ahem… ** trying to keep from laughing ** we’re all in our 40’s now). I wish I had written “Tips for moving 6 metal desks.” hee hee
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You are AWESOME. And HARDKORE.
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thank you for caring<3333
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this is why your inmate the strog goddess lol plus your quicked dance skills
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thanks for you note….
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Wow… sounds like an interesting time. Determination is a very likeable quality.. although stubborness comes along with that at times and can make things difficult…. ICP???? very nice!!!
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RYN: Thanks for your note! =)
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No, I was refering to the fact that money=green, which I never see. :_( lol
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ha…that’s funny…he didn’t anticipate the water in the heater 🙂
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LMAO! I was totally picturing this whole scene as I read it! Thanks for making my day!
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Since my car accident a few years ago, I’m unable to lift very much above 20lbs. I have some spurts where I can move more, but then my back pays the price for my persistance. Nowadays, like Mick Foley, I can boast that I can bench-press the same weight as I could in the 8th grade. It’s all good fun! RYN:I barely see your pants as they are as black as the background, but very nice all the same. 😉
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*lol* I had to go thru all the same sh*t when I was growing up getting stuck helping Dad in the garage. Yet he expected kids to lift some heavy weights…dumb f*ck…
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Good to hear you survived. lol. Sounds like a massive job. But that’s what a daughter is for, right? 😉 I thought you had a brother? lol. Check this comic out: http://forum.newsarama.com/showthread.php?t=113812 Hope all is going well & your lil’ hands are healing. 😉 Take Care. {X}
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showering’s always a good thing. i couldn’t wait to shower after all the sweating involved in moving my stuff to the new apartment. i use the term “new” loosely, as it is clearly a 1970’s-esque apartment. it even has the wood-paneled walls and mirrors behind the cabinets.
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I could teach you the ins & out of what to do & how to get us in the biz. You can engross me on the Expanded Universe, since I don’t know much there. That’s why the two of us are more valuable than each individual unit. 😉 lol, that could have other meanings, but I won’t elaborate as not to lose my main point. lol. 😀
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RYN: Oh, I know you can’t see my pants, for I am not wearing any… ER! I mean, that is, I don’t wear any pants… (That sounds worse somehow.) That is, I wear shorts. Denim shorts… To the knee… Uhm. Yes. I think I’m safe with this analogy. Shorts, not pants. I guess you could call them short pants, but that’d be silly. Shorts. I think that explicit enough. Shorts!
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insanity…that’s all I can say 🙂 *Hugs and smiles* ~Randi
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